PENGUIN'S DIARY

16-06-2010

2010-06-16T22:26:00.001+08:00

Sharing of Testimony
Good evening to everyone, I will like to share my testimony and experiences for the past 3 months, that God have always been with me throughout all the battles that I have to go through.
All of you may not know this. But I was jobless on the very first session with the Adult Cell Group. In fact that was the last day with that company (I was quite envy with you guys having terrific careers when we did self introduction). I was going through stress with the last job and was not doing well. Out frustration and grief I left that company.
From then until now, there was a lot of things happened and I believe that God have been blessing me throughout.
Before I get into TA Asia Logistics Pte Ltd (which is my current company), I went through a lot of interviews. Frankly speaking, a person like me who do not like uncertainties with take job hunting as a very tedious task. Maybe it is expectations that I had set, the number of interviews was much higher than previously gone through. To the extent I am quite fedup and post up on my blog saying whether I can stop all these interviews and get a new job. Things just happened from there. After I logged off from my blog, my supervisor from this company called me for interview. And after the interview, I was immediately selected. The reason why the manager selected me… Because I am a musician and that he find me special and similar to what he have gone through when he was young (For your information he was once a concert master of SYO). He want to groom me up and see how far I can excel. He knows about my setback in previous company and decided to give me a crash course with all the task in this company (I don’t find myself special than other people, and on the market I feel that I am just a average worker).
One week after I came into this company, I was given a major project. It was an offshore marine crane shipment. This is also my first handling project cargo which I have to deal to Flat Rack and Open Top Container, Lashing and several stuffs that I am not familiar with. After that, next projects was 7 containers of steel pipes for stuffing, which I must be at site coordinating the stuffings with my fellow colleagues working under the sun. And one more was ISO tanks shipment for Petroluem out from Singapore to Phiiippines. All these first times gone through with a lot of people God planted around to guide me through.
Moving on from there, I also handled coordination and issuance of containers for all the ports that my NVOCC section is dealing with and single handedly running the customer service section with my senior have the ease of mind dealing with her Forwarding portion. I have to thank God that whenever trouble stuck, things have always been resolved in a positive note.
My Trade Manager and Assistant operation manager must be God planted. I have never come across someone who is so willing to teach me so much things. They also gave me the opportunities to know people and customers face to face during drinking session organised by Trade Manager (and Thank God I didn’t get drunk and make a fool of myself during these sessions and build connections with these people).
Here is the interesting part. Yesterday I asked into meeting room by my manager. He talked to me with regard with my confirmation. And with that I will be getting a 10% increment from my current salary. Not only that, I will be advanced to become a Sales Executive under mentorship of my sales manager who is someone that have given me a lot of encouragement and with that another increment. They are also planning to set aside the company vehicle for me during the office hours to facilitate my work which a lot of company will not do. All expenses with the vehicle claimable from my company.

On the whole I can say that it is like a dream. Frankly I think I am only person that have advanced so fast in the company. Yes I maybe hardworking, I can be diligent, but I believe without God presence and blessing to me, nothing would have been possible. I thank God for providing me great friends, allowing me to continue making good music and now great working environment that I growing with.

Thank you Jesus!!

13-06-10

2010-06-13T20:05:00.000+08:00

Time now is 2000hrs.
I am at home for the whole weekend. Wanted to go back to work actually but decided not to do that because my back hurt very badly. Don't know what happened but I couldn't sit straight without feeling a strain on the rear right side of my back.

Been resting alot. Reading at home. Surfing the net. Wondering about my report that is due on Monday. After thinking about it, I decided not to reveal everything that I am thinking. Maybe just reveal one fifth of it will do. Reason being I don't think that the managers will react positively. Anyway I still have another two more weeks to think whether I want to stay put with this company.

I really don't know how things will work out the next two weeks.
But let see how it goes.

04/05/10

2010-05-04T22:43:00.000+08:00

Been a very busy 6 weeks with TA Asia Logistics Pte Ltd.
Had handled three different project shipments and indeed learn alot thing from there.
I know I will learn even more at this company.

Also completed concert performance with NYPAW at Victoria Concert Hall last Saturday. Thanks God that everything is alright. Don't know what is the next thing that I am going to do after that. Supposed to go back to Saturday service from this weekend onward. But I don't feel click with people. Haha.. No common topics, not as successful as all these people, there is very big gap there that is stopping me from going back. Furthermore I am always so tired when come to weekend that I really don't go out at all.

Thinking of what is the next thing that I want to achieve next.

17-03-2010

2010-03-17T18:43:00.001+08:00

Time now is 1810hrs.
I will like to share a good news. I finally found a job and it is something very similar to my last job scope. So after going for about 20 interviews for either sales or operation task, I finally landed at this company.

The company that I will be working for will be TA Asia Logistics Pte Ltd. It is situated at No.9 Gul Road (somewhere near Tuas area, very near to some shipyard). Initially I was thinking whether it is going to be the same as all the previous interview and that they may ask me to go home and wait for their calls. But this one is different. I met with Ms Tow and Mr Lim and they really start to ask me question on myself, my previous experiences, my hobby and so on. When finally Mr Lim say that he believe that he could mould me to be someone like him to be successful in this line and that he ask me whether I can take the hardship that he is going to throw to me. I don't know why but I think God want me to say I can do it. And there goes I am reporting to them on Monday 22-03-2010.

That is interesting indeed. But furthermore into this issue, I was surprised by something. The last sentence I tweet in Twitter say that

"jameslim060282 Going out again... all these interview is making me crazy.. Can I quickly find one job and stop all these interview?"

The previous outing I never talk like that before. But God seem that to be working my life.
Similar thing happened. I was telling Colin (my friend who is the band instructor) that if I have to take the school, I seriously need a night job to supplement my income and next thing CTS and Fairprice came up and offered my night shift position that I can earn quite well (but after some serious consideration, I think I should just take up the day job and expand my knowledge in shipping and logistics.)

I can only say Praise The Lord and I will be sharing this testimony at tomorrow Cell Group Meeting.

At the same time, I pray to God that I will be able, in His Name, to do well in this new job and that I can be one of the pillar in this shipping and logistics industry and that He shall be my guardian into this new environment and teach me how to get things done. Oh Lord, please be there for me.

Updating of the blog when there is no access to internet

2010-03-17T18:16:00.000+08:00

12-03-2010

Time now is 1330hrs. I am currently sitting at Bukit Pajang Plaza now. In another 40 minutes time I will be making my way to Teck Whye Secondary School whereby my task today is to build confident for the trumpet section ad hoping that I can make them better and sensitive on details in music.

This morning had been a busy one for me. Went to two places for interviews. One of which is at Lower Delta Road. I interviewed for Sales Executive and I think I have a high chance that I will get this job. (Keeping my finger crossed for it) After that I went Recruit Express Office at Ngee Ann City whereby one of guy told me that there is two openings suitable for me. (Well gonna wait for their reply again).\

Meanhile I really thinking hard on what I really want. Band instructing? Shipping and Logistics operation aspect, or sales aspect? I know I am flicking minded but it is a chance that I can once again do what I love. Well also have to wait for Colin side whether one of his school decide to get a Co-instructor then I can confirm whether I am going to do that.

Looking at the sky now, Seem that it may be raining in awhile time. The sky is really dark but the sun is shinning so bright and it is very hot outside the shopping mall. Pray that it don’t rain so early (at least let me get into the school first.)

Ok update again later when I am at Orchard.

13-03-2010

Ok I am supposed to update the blog when I reached Orchard but it seem that I didn’t have the time and I was too tired to do so when I got home. Time now is 4.17pm and I currently at Expo, couldn’t log on Wireless@sg, therefore going to record everything onto MS Words first before uploading it on the blog.

I had a great gathering with Kenneth, Justin, Sandy, Wilson, Bryan and Zi Rui yesterday. WE actually fellowship at Xing Wang Taiwan at City Link and after at the esplanade bay. Things are just more interesting with these guys.

Before the fellowship, I was at Teck Whye Secondary School Band (Colin’s Band). My task was in build confident to the trumpet section there. We did the song that I was very familiar which is The Blue Saga. I was able to point out their weakness from there and build them from there. I believe in another 2 more session they be able to do on their own.

Colin also mentioned that his another school might be interested to employ me as their Co instructor. I am very happy that I will be having a new chance to teach again. However, the future in this line seem very uncertain and I am very worried that it may fail and injured myself even more.

This morning I went to Riverwalk and attending the Zone activity for Adult and Young Adult people. It is really interesting. I will that further when I am back home and have internet access.

11-03-10

2010-03-11T19:04:00.000+08:00

Yesterday was too tired to update my blog. There was supposed to be a part two but I really can't open my eye to update anything le.

Where were I? Oh I was talking about going to Adult Cellgroup. Yeah I also meet them on Saturday Service. Just know some of them and after that went off with S33 for our last fellowship as cellgroup members.

Saturday was also the day CNLWE had the performance. It is actually a church dedication performance for the church new building. The performance was alright. We played The Curtain Up! by Alfred Reed, The Amazing Grace by Frank Ticheli and so on. The only part I felt uncomfortable was the pledge for the dedication of the building to God. As most of the band members do not belong to the church itself, I guess more or less people felt that we shouldn't committed to the pledge. So am I. (Hey I belong to CHC therefore if there is such a pledge I will save it until we are in Suntec next year March). Therefore the whole group of us just kept quiet through the pledge taking.

On Saturday we have also been told that the upcoming building for CHC. It is actually at Suntec Conventional Centre. I was like wow... How come Suntec City? Pastor Kong make known that the church is now co owner of that real estate.

Monday to Thursday was another round of interviewing.
Finding a job nowadays is so difficult. But I am asking myself whether I have set my requirement too high.
Meanwhile Colin is inviting me to Co instruct one of his school. If this really happen, I will have to replan everything again. As Co-instructor I won't earn much, therefore I will need to find other part-time or full time job to compliment my salary.

Well let see how thing goes.

10-03-2010 (Part 1)

2010-03-10T17:00:00.000+08:00

The last update from me was on last thursday. Since then alot of things had happened and I have been busy for awhile. Here come my update.

On 04-03-2010, Zim Logistics finally decided to release me from my current jobs. To be frank, to make me stay in office and do nothing is actually a torture to me. How can I stay there and do nothing? Luckily there is such a thing call internet that at least I still can tweet and update facebook.

As for the bond, the company decided to that I will only paid half of it. So I paid about SGD 1600 for the bond. I still think that it is worth it because it is the knowledge of the course that is more important to me and I did it and in fact quite well.

Went for MJ cellgroup meeting. It is my second time to the cellgroup meeting. They were playing game and after that we have sermons from MJ. Still feel strange in this group because as I don't seem to belong there. Should have ask someone to go with me but I guess no one is available too.

On the same evening, I was also that S33 is going to splits. Although that is something that I am not surprised about, I can't help feel lost about it. I know that I am going to Adult Cellgroup but to where I also don't know. Nevertheless I just told myself to just go with what is supposed to come.

Going out for NYPAW practice now. Update again later.

04-03-2010

2010-03-04T10:35:00.000+08:00

Counting to leave Zim Logistics, but this time round straight to last day. You might want to ask me why is it so. Reason being they finally gave me the final figure for the bond that I have pay back to the company. $1599.50 for my bond to be returned back to the company. Hopefully I can find this money somewhere and settle this once and for all by tomorrow.

On half day leave today, so ended up I didn't get any newspaper. Not a wise decision actually cos I really boring now.

Blog again later when I get home.

03-03-2010

2010-03-03T11:41:00.002+08:00

Counting down 17 days from leaving Zim Logistics.
Again this morning, I have come to office prepared with newspaper to read and had finished the papers barely within 2 hours. After went online to check out any outcome on my job hunting, arrange for interview and so on.

Yesterday as per requested from Recruit Express (which is a job agency), I went over to the office in Jurong East. They asked me so many questions but I really doubt on their capability on finding a correct and suitable job for me. Nevertheless give it a try right? No harm from doing that. For my interview with HW on monday, I should be able to get the outcome on this Friday. Yeah I indeed looked forward to good news from them.

Just I was reading the newspaper today, something caught my eyes. The number of COEs issued next time will depend on how many cars have been De-registrated in the previous quarter of the year. This would mean to us that this action will also depend on the number of cars exported out or being scrapped. COE will go up when the export market is weak because there is lesser slots for new COEs. This would mean the increasing of sales of 2nd hand cars in the market and also mean people will have to fork out more money for brand new car in the future.

Also in the newspaper, there is couple that relationship was disapproved by the guy's parent. The whole thing so ugly that the guy is forced to leave home and cohabiting with his girfriend. The reason why the relationship is disapproved. Because his girlfriend is 20 years older than him at 42 years old. I wonder why that guy decided to make things so complicated and even make it onto the newspaper.

Later this evening I am going over to CNLWE for last practice before saturday opening ceremony. Haven't rehearsed through so many music with them and doubt that we can finish everything tonight. Nevertheless, we will try our best.

02-03-2010

2010-03-02T15:49:00.002+08:00

Counting down to 18 days from me leaving Zim Logistics.
My access to my PC have been blocked by my company, thinking that I will steal company secret and sell to someone else. Haha.. I think of it so funny. If I want to do that I would have done that long long ago. In fact I don't need a computer to remember my customers who are shipping, it is all in my head.

So without PC I can help with anything at all. So can't be help and just sit in office and do nothing. Just read newspaper and if I can go online I look at my personal email and send my resume to people. So this morning practically I read through the Straits Time and The News Paper so detailed that I can still remember I read somthing about Panda eating bone and meat (poor thing, no Bamboo to eat).

Yesterday went to one of the my potential employer and talked to him about the job and my experience in the company. Seem that he is quite keen on me and I believe if nothing goes wrong I should be able to get the job. The company strongest point is Intra Asia shipment, particular to Thailand, Vietnam and Indonesia. For me I seldom do Intra Asia shipment until most recently with Zim Logistics. My market is basically to India and africa and Caribbean. This might be a problem for me.

Nevertheless, the manager is very good compared to my current one. I know I go all the way.May bring in new trade for them.

This evening I have another interview for Shipping Cordinator, will update again and see what happen.

01-03-2010

2010-03-01T00:11:00.003+08:00

Finally I resigned and submitted my resignation letter on 23-02-2010.

Due to office work as calender week, my last day with Zim Logistics will be 19-03-2010.
Actually for the last few days I didn't want to touch any thing at all. But I am so softhearted and went on to help them do filing.

Over the weekend I was just thinking, anyway I will have to finish off my notice period. So perhap I can help them to do filing as much as possible. Make this last few days useful lah. That was what I told myself. So from tomorrow onward I will go ahead to file all October - December 2009 files into the cupboard and create new folder for Janaury - March 2010. At least let me feel that I don't own them anything. I told myself that I am not doing this because that Dua Pei Kong make me do it, but it is for the future of the operation team that I contributing to them.

At the same time, tomorrow evening I am going for an interview recommended by one of classmate. Don't know whether it will work out or not. But I am excited for the new opportunity to come. I am to grab hold all my knowledge in the shipping and sales and do my best.

I believe I can do it.

Meanwhile, I am also going to think and create an useful excel sheet to monitor my customers. I think I lack of that and sometime I dun even know where the heck they are shipping to. Maybe should do a write up on the different customer and their shipments. That will be the first thing that I will do at the new company.

Actually what do I failed as a sales in Zim Logistics?
I need to think about this and perhap update everyone who is reading this. (I dun even know whether anyone is reading this).

Good night :)

13-02-2010

2010-02-13T13:51:00.003+08:00

After so long that I decided to write this down.
Well she really dun know why I say I felt cheated.
Because she thought that I want it to be that way.
Perhap it is true.
We are too far away from each other.
I should let go. But never did I thought things happened so fast.
But also good lah..
One person lesser for me to care.
One person lesser for me to worry.
One person lesser for me to bother about.

ok I stop my emo-ing here...

Today is Chinese New Year Eve. I am wondering what will I be doing today.
Waiting for my brother to come home for the meal.
The food look great and overflowing my table.
Meeting April later and go out together. Thinking to watch movie and perhap go for a drink.

Well update again later.

Goals for 2010

2009-12-30T18:50:00.002+08:00

Goals for 2010
1. Aggressive and one of the best salesperson in Logistics market.
2. Continuous study for Higher Diploma in August 2010.
3. Getting my own car and reduce the reliance of the company van
4. Higher salary in 2010
5. Resuming travelling plan.
6. Getting a new laptop.
7. Getting CNLWE to be one of the best community band.
8. Forming up the CNL Brass Quintet and bring it out for performances.
9. Spending more time with God, read more on God's words.
10. Complete my plan to finish all the bible studies that was left undone this year.

Looking Back On The Past One Year.

2009-12-30T00:40:00.003+08:00

2009 have been dynamic year for me.
It have indeed a year that put me onto alot of crossroad. Things that I have to give up, friends that I have to give up and freedom that I have to give up. It have been a year that my heart have to be broken but it is also a year that I will wake up my idea on.

At Work.
Work is never a smooth process for me. I am taken for granted, sometime even abused. I often wondered why should I treat my colleagues well. So what if I treat my colleagues well, will they do the same for me? They only know how to attack on people mistake. But did I do that to them? I often believe that we shouldn't point the gun on the own people and try to cover each other. Politically things are getting much more worse and I also don't know how it will work out.

Nevertheless, I have been transfered to the Sales team from December 2009. I am supposed to take over and service Sean's account of customers. Looking at the list I feel that there isn't much that we can look on that will book with us. The very important thing now is to go all out and capture new customers and expand the customer base. But it is really not easy. Because I am really new to General cargo and Airfreight though i did some LCL documentation back in AGS.

On CNLWE.
CNLWE have been undergoing alot of transformation. Colin gave up conducting on the band, pathing the return of Mr Tan. We have a concert cancelled in this process and it was incvitable. Everyone also wake up from the idea that things will automatically drop down from the sky and the committee are more initiated in proposing new plans and ideas to the Wind Ensemble.

Being a key appointment holder in the committee, I saw all these changes. Sometime I tried to ask God why me here. I know I belong to CHC and being with them will create contradiction. Why am I serving a ministry outside CHC? What is God's purpose for me to there? And why me? But no matter what, things are getting better at CNLWE and I hope that once everything have settled down I will step down as appointment holder and back to focus on myself on what I am supposed to do, as a christian and a musician.

About NYPAW.
I thank God that in mist of messiness at CNLWE, I was allowed to play music with NYP Alumni Winds. Although my priority is not there, I enjoy the music making process with all of them and that they have proven to be a hard core musicians to me and let me learn alot of thing with them.

On Relationship.
I told the truth to her and was rejected.
I am definately upset with it. But good thing now is she is in relationship with another guy. I just have to learn to let it go. I am definately not recovered from this yet but i know I will slowly forget about it and treat it as just a another chapter.

On My Study.
As per my previous update, I did pretty well for my study. Though I am not the top student in the class but I think I am within the top 5 students in the class. I am still considering whether I should go for Higher Diploma. But I am really not sure whether I can cope with it.

Well above all make up 2009.
Hope that 2010 will be a better year for me.

20-11-09

2009-11-21T00:28:00.003+08:00

Wow my last blog was in July. That was four months ago.
Yeah been very busy with work, study and band.
I finally finished my diploma course.
My result for the whole course as follows

1. SEA FREIGHT - MERIT
2. AIR FREIGHT - CREDIT PASS
3. INTERNATIONAL TRADE MANAGEMENT - DISTINCTION
4. MULTIMODAL TRANSPORT - DISTINCTION
5. CUSTOMER SERVICE - DISTINCTION
6. BASIC MANAGEMENT - CREDIT PASS
7. LEGAL STUDY - MERIT

With all these result, I also commenced my 1 year bond with the company from 12 Nov 2009 to 11 Nov 2010.
One good news that if it is real, will really boast my moral.
I am going to have a switch in the work that I am doing.
I maybe doing sales and the company is willing to provide me the company van for me to use for long term till I am able to get a car.
Well I am really keeping my finger crossed on this.

Ok I will update again...

19-07-09

2009-07-19T00:44:00.003+08:00

It have been long time since I blogged.
So many thing have happened and guess I am back to myself again.

Yeah I have left CHC at the end of May.
Reason being it just not the place or reason to be there.
Maybe at the end of the day, I should still be left all alone. That will be better for everybody. I have my idea and want to pursuit my dream. But I believe God will be the one who will tell me what to do. I pray that everything will be fine and that let this year be a remarkable one.

On the study front, I think I did well for last two papers (International Trade Management and Customer Service in Logistics) and scored distinction for these two papers. That is a result that I never thought that I would get. And I am also waiting for one more result to come in, that is for Multimodal Transport. This is by far, the toughest paper I have taken and I wonder how I fared. Well result coming out soon and we will know. At the moment I am off to the last two modules for this course (Legal Study and Basic Management). I hope that I will do well for this two papers.

At work, things seem to be become better. More loading coming in and that for month of July should be a booming one. I hope that this will sustain and that we can finish off 2009 in the positive zone and perhap if there any, have our 13th AWS again. Haha..

Ok going to sleep now. Good night!!

12-05-09

2009-05-12T20:17:00.003+08:00

Time now is 2018hrs.
Alot of people should have thought that I should at Adult choir practising right now. But they are wrong. I am at home now. And I didn't go for the practice. What does that mean? That mean Saturday and Sunday I will not be participating. In fact I don't foresee going back to the Ministry anymore. Don't ask me why. I wouldn't answer you. I have my own reason. Be it that you all say I am ungrateful or immature. But that place is really not for me.

Perhap I will leave the cell group and the church too... But that doesn't mean I don't love God. Because I know some hyprocites will be saying that I am ungrateful with what God give. Just that after one year, the conclusion is I am not suitable here. I really don't want to force myself with something I don't like to do. Or force for the sake of someone and continue to stay. I want to move on. Whatever I do right now is not what I wanted. I want a change in everything.

So for people from S33, do not waste your breathe on this matter. If you still treat me as a friend, do not come and question me why. I do not wish to see you all. And I mean it. It is not your fault. It is not suitable for me in the first place to stay in the Cell Group. Thanks all of you for your concern but let me be what I am. I am who I am. And don't try to use your theory to change me.

To Sandy and Shannon, please remove my blog link from the S33 website.

Moving forward... I will be going to endure all the nonsense at work. Continued to be looked down on. But i promise I will make them regret on what they have done to me.
And at the same time, building music, work toward my dream as an instructor, musician and composer.

Talking about work, I thought abit. Why should I waste my time and do all these when it is actually not necessary? No need to advertise the company. It is not up to me to do so. Whether the company stay up or closed down, or company promote me or fire me, can I make the decision? I think I dun waste time for that. For what? I
don't earn anything and I still have to see the face of the people in my department.

11-05-09

2009-05-11T23:29:00.002+08:00

Time now is 23300hrs.
Update abit about myself.

Last saturday I went to CNL Wind Ensemble new practising venue which is at Jurong West Street 74. That is also the new church for Centre Of New Life. The building is small and is shared with Victory Family Centre.

When I was there, I was told by the person in charge that I will be one of the key-bearers as I live nearer and will be task with know and train the members and subsequent key bearer on the protocol of the building and so on. At the same time, should there be any emergency, I might be activated and go over to respond accordingly. The procedure are not complicated so should be alright.

Last sunday I had a migraine in the morning. Just don't know why and it just hit me. I was laying in my bedroom for the whole morning until it was better. After I went to check out my work related issue. I am supposed to prepare an email flyer to the customers and update them about coming shipments.

Last night while reading the bible, a verse came in boldly
Proverb 27:1
"Do not boast about tomorrow.
For you do know what a day may bring forth"

I started to ask myself alot of question.
Did I take everyday for granted?
Was I lazy and taken for granted that tomorrow will always come?
Did I expect the unexpected?

And yeah. I ask myself about this.
Do I still want to be a musician?
My friend told me this and I really agreed with her.
What is the things that you want to do if money is not the matter anymore?
Yes I should to be a musician.
But how to make the issue of money not matter anymore?
Can I survive as a musician in wind ensemble or even in orchestra?
Really not easy.
But that is I am going to do next year when I settle my bond with my company.
I want to be a full-pledged musician and instructor.

Today went to attend class.
CUSTOMER SERVICE AND RELATIONSHIP MANAGEMENT IN LOGISTICS.
I thought it should be quite simple.
And I was wrong. It is not easy because there is alot of theories.
And my examination will be on 25-06-09.
Everything will be moving very fast and project will be due on 01-06-09.
I better be prepared this time round.

01-05-09

2009-05-01T21:05:00.002+08:00

Time now is 2106hrs.
I have been perhap quite depressed.

Working and exam sometime really tired me out. I ask myself over and over again on what I really wanted.

I have been asking question about what I should choose. To cherish or go for what I wanted. Frankly speaking, do I have a choice? Now tell you all what I meant.

To cherish.
When I say to cherish, I mean cherishing on everything I have now. I cherish the hardwork that I do in the logistics line. I cherish all the experiences that I have gone through with Asian Groupage and Zim logistics. Because without them, I am not myself today. I still be lost in direction as I was 4 years ago.

I cherish the church that give me new life. I cherish the friendship I have in the cell group. I cherish the person that I fall in love in the cellgroup (though I believe nothing will happened between us, she have make it clear to me. I am not her cup of tea. Nevertheless, I still love her.) I cherish things and things that have happened between and the group of wonderful of things that have I gone through with them. I cherish the emotions that are real.

Now what do I want?
I want to play music. I want to go around the world and play music. I want to fulfil my dream as a musician and play music that touches people heart. Music that will bring peace. I want to do composition that bring people love together.

I want peace and freedom. I want to be able to do what I want. I want to be rich and health. I don't want to live a life that is lonely. But then again, do I have the choice?

Is it God or Demon that is telling me.
That it is my destiny to be alone throughout of my life. No one will ever understand you. Because you have the reason why you have to be that. But you will be the one who will save the day whenever people need. Yet when you help them, no one will ever appreciate you. You will still be outcasted. Even to the person you loved so deep, she will outcast you. She won't tell you that she outcast you. But it is her action that will prove you correct.

I was think so hard how to change all of these. But finally now I tell myself this. SO WHAT!! I accepted the facts that it will be my life. If my life have to be that pitiful, so be it. I am going to live through it. I know that people will come in and out of my life. I acknowledged that. But I know as long as I cherish the every moment that I have with them, that is good enough.

I know things that are within my control. But this time, I am not running away. I want to walk on. i don't believe that it will be that bad in the land of God. I believe that Him will change everything. Even he don't want to do anything about my life, he is still my God. I will do what he really want me to do.

21-04-09

2009-04-21T22:31:00.002+08:00

Time now is 2231hrs.
I am supposed to do my study now. But then thought may be I can pen a short blog here on how I feel.

I am worried about coming Friday with Vincent Chew whom is our General Manager of my company. I don't know how are we going to tell him that the shipment loading have dropped more than 60% for the month of April. I warned my manager (Richard) about it but nothing is being done.

Why am I so concerned about all these thing? It is just because of a promise that I will help to look after the company. A silent promise to my ex manager and my mentor. That why I am so stressed. I cannot afford to let customer disappeared from the company. Yet I am helpless because things are simply not at my control.

Let hope that the booking can jump to more than 40 FEU coming to the end of the month.

I will want to go for Genting Highland Band Competition in Nov. But there is one condition that I have to fulfil. That is I must attending Saturday afternoon with NYP Alumni Band. But if I do that I wouldn't be able to make for service 2. Playing music for CNL will take me away from cgm on sunday. It is really not easy decision.

So which one should I give up?

烏云然 -- 胡歌

2009-04-19T15:47:00.002+08:00

歌手：胡歌 , 專輯：出發專輯
烏云然

這一生為誰刻下傷痕
千年的武功豪情劃破長空
夢不斷英雄俠義柔腸
伊人終相伴對酒笑談江山

英雄劍起了風塵
在一望無垠的荒漠心若重生
夢不斷地延伸
誰遙望著故土中原用一生不停地追問
情歸何方曲為誰唱
輕紗隨風難解思念的傷
英雄傷心為誰幾度情長
琴聲不斷與誰今生共賞
音未覺縱馬置身疆場

這一生為誰刻下傷痕
千年的武功豪情劃破長空
夢不斷英雄俠義柔腸
伊人終相伴對酒笑談江山

19-04-09

2009-04-19T11:38:00.002+08:00

Time now is 1139hrs.
Just wake up from a good sleep. Seem that for very long time I didn't have such a good sleep. For the past few weeks I have been waking up early on sunday to do things, going out for cg and so on. My rest day seem to be busy.

So what will be my plan for today? I am going to concentrate and study for my coming examination for International Trade and Multimodal Transport. The project part I did very well. Now I must also do well in the written so that my efforts will go to waste.

And After the exam, I am going to go back to CNL Wind Ensemble when the practice start on sunday. I will be preparing the concert with for coming August or September. I am looking forward for it. I will be going to be actively in Band scene from now on. Most likely to be guest playing in band again.

18-04-09

2009-04-18T21:46:00.004+08:00

I felt disappointed today.
You know why?

Here goes the story.
One guy (B) who didn't want to disappoint anyone when he need help.
When A called him to get things from an event, he say yes, left all his work undone and went in search of things that A needed.

Never do A know that B only have $35 in his pocket and don't have his card with him. When he accept this task, he didn't even say anything and go and proceed with his instruction. He went off his office and went to alexandra village to find things that is within the budget and was no available. After that he hop onto a bus again and went to Bukit Merah Central where go to Fairprice to buy the items. He brought all the food items he was instructed. But the ice cream sccope just too expensive. It is definately going out of budget and out of question for his wallet at that moment.

He really think a thousand and one ways to try to get this resolved.
At the end he ran over to Outram to get a cheaper sccope for the event. But there is only 3 sccope available and I was already late for half an hour. So I can't help but run back to the location where the event is held.

You know what. By the time B reached, he was half sweating all over the place. He call A to find out whether he is here, he was not. Yet he tell B to be there at 1330hrs. Nevermind.
When I passed over the items to the organisor, they don't even appreciate B 's help yet critics on the item he brought. Even A say the same thing. How would B felt? Isn't they are the one who want to prepare these things?

Frankly speaking, B was not happy throughout the event.
This is don't know the how many times that when he contributed and yet not appreciated and being pin-pointed on things.

B is not going to particpate anymore in this kind of event.
TOTALLY IRRITATED BY THIS!!

And at the end of the day, my claims is not even being returned back to me. What is this???

He was totally taken for granted.

03-04-09

2009-04-03T23:55:00.002+08:00

Time now is 2356hrs.
In another 15hrs time I will be performance with Adult Choir of CHC for the first time.
I am so excited that I can't sleep right now. I really hope that the music will touches everyone's heart and warm everyone in their soul.

Now... There are people asking me why I decided to choose to stay in choir instead of joining the orchestra. Actually there is a few reasons behind it.

Practically I don't own a tuba and I can't fulfil the criteria set by the orchestra.
Personally, I don't feel that I should the choir now as I just join them. That will only make me ministry hopping. That is not my style. When I am committed, I will be committed all the way unless things that are more important in life that I need to attend it first. Furthermore, in choir actually train and tune up my listen when I get back to band. And of course, if you can sing, you can play music. That is the theory that I always believe on.

I am not the type of always giving people a straight no for answer. I always accept explaination and at the correct time voice my stand. But that doesn't mean that you can ride onto me and push me anywhere you want to go. That is simply not me. I believe in freedom expression and mutual respect co-existence.

One of my colleague say this "Christian are selfish people. Most of the time they actually only care about themselves. Some of them even declared that god in other religion is actually faked.. "

I got quite upset when I heard this comment. I started asking myself... Why people make such comment? Yes in Ten Commandments it stated that He is the one and only god. But isn't God actually can appeared in any ways He desired to be? Why must that person do such a condemnation? Why can't there be a mutual respect in each other religion? Whichever you think you can actually keep to your belief but you can't force to believe when they don't.

SO DON'T!!
Being christian we have to even be more understanding to the culture of the world. We have to give certain to respect to all. Beside that God is everywhere around us. God is everyone's God.

I don't know why I talked so about believing. Just felt that to certain extent i want to believe in the principle of life, my values of life and what cherish and hope about.

ok end my blog here. Maybe update again on Sunday after concert.

22-03-09

2009-03-22T22:28:00.003+08:00

Time now is 2230hrs.
I am very tired.. Been rushing project for the past few days.
I am confused.. I wondered what is calling? What is my priority?
I seem to lost my freedom... Everything is not in my control...

But nevermind... Tomorrow is a new week.
I need to form the consol. I want to break record of forming the most consol in one week.
I want my team to be the best for tomorrow Project LC Presentation.
I want to be even more passionate in my music. I still remember I want the world to listen and love music.

Meanwhile, I go and sleep bah.. I know I will do it.
As wave go tough, trust that I will be tougher. My breaking point is still far far away.

08-03-09

2009-03-08T00:04:00.003+08:00

Time now is 0005hrs.

I accompanied Winnie home after the fellowship just now. I talked to her alot regarding our past and present, about our concern and about things that are important in our earthly and spiritual life. Although she may be very direct at people at times, but she meant well for people.

I suddenly remember this verse that Pastor Kong said when I just came into CHC. Do you know about 80% of the people when they are not happy about something, they wouldn't complain and will walk out? And that only 20% will open their mouth and tell you what they are not happy about?

This bring me down to this part. Our friends love each other. If your friend did something wrong, will you keep quiet and walk away or will you tell him about it? Very often, we tend to protect the friendship by keeping quiet about the fact that our friend did a mistake. But what does your friend feel? He will feel that you are insincere with him. So if we really care, we should chat with him about that. Not confronting your friend, but to let him know what you thought and maybe allow to give him a chance to explain.

Main thing is caring is very important in everyone life. Just imagine that no one cares about you. How will you feel? Same here in friendship, we need to care for each other. Then the friendship within will be strong.

Ok.. Let me update the things that happened this week

Happy Stuff 1
At work, volume of cargo are showing improvement . I getting more booking from my customer and consol shipment are being formed. Praise the Lord!! He really heard my prayer. I prayed for the last one week with this issue inside my prayer. I really hope that this will carry on and that we can have good result in the month of March.

Happy Stuff 2
We celebrated Hui Xian's 25th Birthday on 03-03-09. We went to Sakae sushi for dinner. This is also a first time she officially joined as member in adult fellowship. I hope that the connectgroup can have more such fellowship because we always don't see each at times. Yeah we celebrated her birthday at Clarke Quay in front of Central Shopping mall along Singapore River. Happy Birthday Hui Xian!!

Happy Stuff 3
God is really around me. Yesterday I asked Mingyao about the Tri-union on Father, Son and Holy Spirit. Guess what happened? Today Pastor Tan talked about this and his explaination clear my question. I really can't believe it. The next thing that happened. During Bible study again, the matter Evangelism come out again. God tell me how and who should we outreach to. That have been a question in my mind as well. Thanks Heavenly Father for your words that chased away the haze and brighten up the day.

Concerned stuff 1
Working relationship with colleague got slightly better. But still quite rocky at times. I hope that I will be more sensitive to what will provoke her and work harmony with her. That is something I will continue to pray for.

Concerned stuff 2
Need to talk to a friend about her life. I am worried about her future and that she is short-changing herself. I hope that I can talk to her and that she can change the direction where she is going. I really need God to help me.

Sad incident that happened during the week.
At 8.30pm on 05-03-09, Kelvin (my brother) sms to call him back and it is urgent. After calling him, I came to know that one of my closest relative passed away. It is actually my aunt's husband.

To know why I am so upset, I got to tell you abit of my history. For all information, my father is used to be a fisherman and spent alot of time at sea. When he married my mum, he want almost to his 60s. He was a type of person who run around and usually wouldn't stay at home. Very often my brother and I are being left taken care of by my aunt and her family. I wanted to say all along I am very grateful to them. Though as we grow older, we seldom meet, and even only see each other less than 3 times a year, my aunt and uncle still care alot for us especially when my father passed away when I was 13.

My uncle was diagnosed with cancer last year. The condition was being kept away from us until in May when he no longer can travel down to our place for my grandfather death anniversary. During Chinese New Year this year when we have the chance to see him, I really got a shock and nearly cried. He practically shrinked. He can't move and is bedridden, can't eat... And finally he passed away on Thursday evening at the age of 80.

I pray that as he leave the earthly world, all suffering will be taken away from him and that Heavenly Father will bless him for he is a good man. He may not be a Christian, but I know God love good man. I also pray that my aunt will overcome this grief and that she will be strong and that family will always stay united.

Ok.. Let see what will happen tomorrow.

Morning
--> Call Mingyao on the suggested activity.
--> Meet up Winnie and Adeline and bring the refreshment to Hao Han's place.
Afternoon
--> At Hao Han's place for cg.
--> Down to Punggol for the funeral wake.

Then that it for my weekend.

28-02-09

2009-02-28T22:43:00.003+08:00

Time now is 2235hrs.

Maybe I reply some tag first.

To Mingyao: I will think about it..

To Austin and Sandy,
Thanks and will try my best.

Ok Let talk about this week...

Happy things

My project team did it. We were the first group who presented the project and we actually set the expectation of all the other group presentation behind us. I never expected us to do so well this time. I am really overjoyed. Before the presentation I was praying that everything will be fine. I think He heard my prayer. hahaha.. Thanks God for being at my side.

Next most happy thing, I think will be Tuesday choir practice. We managed to complete African Medley Part II. That mean we sang it from the front to the end. The song is so nice. Haha.. Not classical but a very spiritual type of music. I like it very much. I am going to pratice my part and be ready for the next choir practice.

Next most happy thing, Soon Peng got water baptised. Wow congrat to him. He really took alot of effort to convince his parent to allow him to be Water Baptized. I hope as he goes through the ceremony, his life will change even better. I hope that he can do well in army and be a role model to all his teammate.

Next most happy thing. Huixian Birthday celebration. It is Huixian 25th Birthday on 03-03-09. Yeah. Know her for coming to two years already. I wish that all her wish will come true and that she will do her best in life and forget the unhappy past.

Concern that I have...

I wondering how can I improve the working relationship in office with my colleague. God tell me that I should understand why people don't like me. I need God to guide me in this. I want peace in the office. I want to work well with her.

I need to fresh idea in the outreaching of the adult. I think that adult is always different. For youth, we can always organise games. But for adult I think we need a event that is meaningful. I am out of idea for that. And i hope the whole team really go out and we do our best.

Ok what is going on tomorrow...

Bible Study at Expo..

Cell Group Meeting at Tampines...

Dinner with the Zone Adult...

王力宏 - 你不在

2009-02-22T16:36:00.003+08:00

王力宏 - 你不在

当世界只剩下这床头灯
你那边是早晨已经出门
我侧身感到你在转身
无数陌生人正在等下一个绿灯
一再错身彼此脆弱的时分
不过渴望一个吻的余温
我关了灯黑暗把我并吞
wo
你不在当我最需要爱
你却不在 wo
无尽等待像独白的难捱 wo
你不在高兴还是悲哀
你都不在
我受了伤害再偷偷好起来
你不在
时间再按下许多次快门
沉默里听见转动的秒针
一个人吃饭这个凌晨
孤单一人份你低声说你有别人
我的话筒只有自己的体温
怎样认真也不一定成真
你说得对我不得不承认
wo
你不在当我最需要爱
你却不在
无尽等待像独白的难捱 wo
你不在高兴还是悲哀
你都不在 wo
受了伤害再偷偷好起来
你不在
wo 那些摇摆我都明白
都明白
但你不在爱已不在不在
你不在当我最需要爱
你却不在 wo
一个人分饰两角的恋爱 wo
你不在高兴还是悲哀
你都不在 wo
像空气般不存在的存在
再没有痕迹的爱你不在
当我需要你的爱你不在

21-02-09

2009-02-21T22:06:00.002+08:00

Time now is 2206hrs
I am very tired. Nearly dozed off at the service and during the BS. Can tell that I am lacking of sleep. I dun feel like going anywhere. So after the BS I just want to come home.

I am very discouraged. And frankly speaking I have too many things in hand that I have to worry. Trying to grab the market share back from my company's competitors, Project on my OOG cargo, and alot of things. Everything not going very smoothly.

Had a lunch session with one of my customer. Glad that everything was alright with the operation team. Indeed, some of the customers have really gave the operation team some business but things wouldn't last long when the company not reacting to customer requirement. What is my company doing? USD 10K credit limit?? You might as well don't give the credit term. Or you only want max 3 containers per customer? Pure nonsense!! You want to get market share you got to listen to customer requirement if not you will never win the war.

What my boss doing? They are in business so long and they should know that if they want to take back the market share they need to take risk. If you don't want to take the risk then don't grumble that company losing market share. Yeah I know that there is a serious consequence if we lose in the risk, but if you don't do anything about it, that it also.

Project project project...
Finally figured out what finally that we will use sea shipment to bring that Petrojet from Tanjong Pelapas to Pasir Gudang. Still, it is not easy because we still have to coordinate the road transport portion. Have to deal with later.

Tell you how I feel now...
I feel alone... and depressed. Feel so helpless everytime when I can't do what I am supposed to do. I let down someone.

19-02-09

2009-02-19T01:11:00.002+08:00

Time now is 0112hrs.

I am very stressed that why I am losing my sleep tonight. Tomorrow having class test during lecture. I haven't even take out the notes and revise. Going to do last minute study again tomorrow morning.

Meanwhile company is doing ver poorly and I felt that I need to help to bring in some sales. But once again I was being attacked on doing so. Thuzar ask me something like, am I sales person? Then why I am doing that. These people cannot simply dun understand that if we are going to depend on the sales team, the company can might as well close down.

On the adult outreach, I felt very disheartened. The only person that is very into this is the newest member of the cg whom I thought she still needed to be look after. I felt burden=ized. Because I can't get help when I genuinely need one. Everyone seem to be living in their own world and don't care about what is going on. Upcoming sunday I can actually forget about the BS I am having if the team want to do it. But doesn't seem to be the case and furthermore we don't have the time to run the event too.

Haiz... I really hate my life now... Can I just dig a hole and hide myself somewhere??

心跳 --王力宏

2009-02-17T23:28:00.007+08:00

心跳 --王力宏

----------------------------

想跟我吵架

我没那么无聊

不懂得道歉

我没那么聪明

好想要回到我们的原点

---------------------------------------------

你又在哭泣我给不了安慰

我又在摇头有那么点后悔

爱情的发展已难以回头却无法往前走

但身不由己出现在胸口

两颗心能塞几个问号

爱让我们流多少眼泪

----------------------------------------------------

你的眼神充满魅力带走我的心跳

你的温柔如此靠近带走我的心跳

逆转时光到一开始能不能给一秒

等着哪一天你也想起

那悬在记忆中的美好

--------------------------------------------------

想跟我吵架我没那么无聊

不懂得道歉我没那么聪明

好想要回到我们的原点

但身不由己出现在胸口

两颗心能塞几个问号

爱让我们流多少眼泪

-------------------------------------------------

你的眼神充满魅力带走我的心跳

你的温柔如此靠近带走我的心跳

逆转时光到一开始能不能给一秒

等着哪一天你也想起

那悬在记忆中的美好

----------------------------------------------

你的眼神充满魅力带走我的心跳

你的温柔如此靠近带走我的心跳

逆转时光到一开始能不能给一秒

等着哪一天你也想起

那悬在记忆中的美好

17-02-09

2009-02-17T22:44:00.002+08:00

Time now is 2245hrs.

Today have been a day that I tried to do something about the sales. I tried my best to find consol or FCL shipments. I didn't get much result. I need to do something to help to boast the sales and market share of my sector of work. But then I am also half hearted because everytime when I do that I will be poured with cold water.

Vincent say that we need to find mean and way to get the market share of the shipment. First month saw a great losses draw an alarm to the management. I thought they were still sleeping. But what he say don't serve any purpose and there is no motivation on his words on us. The one hour meeting is basically a briefing session on the current company situation.

Went to choir practice today. I am like woah... Did some music theory thingy and learning how to do sight reading using syllabus. Then join the adult choir for practice. Spend some time to figure out why they say Do at G cos I always sing Do at Bb or C. Haha... Because tuba is in this key mah. lolx.. And yeah the music is in G major. Interesting!. Looking forward for the next practice.

BIRTHDAY PHOTOS

2009-02-13T23:07:00.004+08:00

12-02-09

2009-02-12T23:32:00.003+08:00

Time now is 2330hrs.
I am so irritated and my dizzyness since yesterday got worsed.
I don't want to talk to her already.
I am wasting my saliva.

Why why why must she get herself hurt everytime?
When get she get mature and do correct thing in life?
When can she wake up?
What she want in her life?

I am so angry until my blood vessel going to burst already.
Fine man, I don't care... Why should I?

10-02-09 PART 2

2009-02-10T13:37:00.002+08:00

Time now is 1338hrs
I have not updated my blog on the events that have happened the last few days

06-02-09
Yeah It was my birthday... Rather miserable one because I was already sick since morning. I supposed to meet my friend and we are supposed to go Sungei Buloh Wetland, ended I couldn't go. The fever is actually pretty bad and I don't really know why.

After CGM, S33 gave me a Birthday Surprise! Instead of a card, Winnie make a Candy-mix- pills container for me. All the birthday wishes was inside the pills. Yeah I read through all of them and thanks for all for the wishes.

07-02-09
The fever got worsen and I couldn't even get out of bed. Therefore I couldn't attend the service. I went to see the doctor and with regard about my sickness. He say that it was Tonsil infection and gave me some medicine and say that if my fever don't come down I have to go back to him on Monday

S33 throw me another surprise by coming up to visit me. I felt so happy that they are there for me everytime.

I was shivering halfway in my sleep at night. The shivering lasted for about 1 hour and I sat on my sofa helplessly until it stop and I went back to sleep. Don't know what actually going on.

08-02-09
I was feeling better
Attempted to attend service. But when I was inside the hall, I started to shiver badly again. And after I come out from B4, my temperature rose out of control and I went to buy some cold drink to try to sole the temperature but in the end throw out. Feeling so horrible, went back home, took the medicine and ice pack to reduce the temperature. I need to mention that no matter whether I am sick or not I don't like to be heated up.

09-02-09
I felt better in the morning. Actually I didn't sleep at all for the whole night because of the fever.
I get out of the house and went to Jurong west church for Prayer Meeting. After the Prayer Meeting I fellowship with Sandy, Shannon and Winnie and went back home.

Initially I want to do my project, but after a while I felt very funny and temperature rose again and this time I can't even eat as I kept throwing out. Even drinking of plain water, I will just throw out. In the evening I have no choice that I went back to the clinic again and they say Tonsil Infection has worsen and they wrote a referral and ask admitted NUH A & E. Went in there, did blood test, was put on drip. Met the specialist from ENT, he used a tube through my nose and see my tonsil and told me no need to be warded in the hospital. He also used a type of spray and sprayed on my tonsil and it clear up! This is to my relieve because I dun like to ward in hospital. After discussing the sickness with me, he say I will have to go back to see in 7 days time. After everything, I took the medicine and go home.

Been suffering for the past few days, prayed hard that my suffering can quickly be over.

10-02-09

2009-02-10T10:36:00.003+08:00

Been a nightmare for me these few days. Below explain what is going on with me.

It is a swelling of the tonsils caused by an infection. The most frequent cause of tonsillitis is viral virus. Several of the viruses are the same as the ones found in the common cold. Similar to a cold, tonsillitis is contagious and spread by couching, sneezing, and breathing. The germs only travel a short distances, typically less than 3 feet.

In general, Tonsillitis starts with an unexpected sore throat and painful swallowing. There might also be some difficulty with breathing and swallowing.
Children between the ages 3 to 7 years are affected by Tonsillitis because at this age their tonsils are in the most active period, battling infections.

Tonsillitis is normally not a life threatening condition.
Tonsillitis symptom
Abnormal redness of tonsils
White or yellow layer on tonsils
Swollen Lymph Node in the neck
Bad breathe
Weird voice
Fever
Tonsillitis treatment

Usually, the pain and fever can be relieved by over-the-counter medicine, such as Ibuprofen or Tylenol. Another option would be gargling with warm salt water. Mix 1 teaspoon of salt in 8 ounces of water. Tonsillitis treatment is usually healed with basic home remedies.
Drink a lot of clear fluids to avoid dehydration.
Tonsillectomy

It is a common operation; around 45,000 are done yearly, mostly in children under the age of 15 years old. The operation takes about half an hour and an overnight stay in the hospital.
Tonsillectomy is only suggested to people who:
Five tonsillitis in the past year
Recurrent ear infections caused by swollen tonsils
The swelling making it harder to swallow or breath
Tonsillitis is usually cured within 1 week but it may take a few weeks for the tonsils and swollen lymph node to return to normal size.

05-02-09

2009-02-05T15:58:00.002+08:00

Time now is 1600hrs
As I surfed through the interent, I saw this particular article in yahoo news.

SEOUL (AFP) - - A dogged South Korean grandmother has failed her driving test 771 times, police said Thursday, but a local newspaper reported she will keep trying.
The 68-year-old, identified only by her last name Cha, has taken the test almost every working day since 2005 in the southwestern city of Jeonju. She failed again Monday for the 771st time.
"It was a record-breaking number here," Choi Yong-Cheol, a police sergeant supervising the test in the city's Deokjingu district, told AFP.
"I wonder if she will try it again for a 772nd time."
The Korea Times said Cha will in fact be back for another attempt.
Choi said that Cha cannot pass the preliminary written section of the test, averaging scores of 30-50 whereas the pass mark is 60 out of 100.
Local media said that Cha sells food and household items door to door at apartment complexes, carrying the items in a handcart, but wants to get a car for her business.
Police estimate she has spent almost five million won (3,600 dollars) to take the written test, with each test costing 6,000 won in addition to other expenses.
"I feel sorry every time I see Cha fail. When she passes, I'll make a commemorative tablet myself and give it to her," one officer was quoted as saying.

An article that tell us not to give up to things that you really want to do it.

02-02-09 Part 3

2009-02-02T23:10:00.005+08:00

Time now is 2305hrs.

Yeah I just came back from my course lesson in Bukit Merah and I am very tired. Just now after blogging at the Lan Shop, I boarded onto the bus and I slept all the way to Bukit Merah Interchange. All passengers alighted already and I am still sleeping there. Am I that tired? lolx.

And yeah as promised myself I am putting up picture onto my blog.

Today my lesson talk about different types of payment that is used in International Trade Management as well as the Seller and buyer's concern on the trade.

There are so many types of transactions like Telegraphics Transfer, Letter of Credit, Documentary collection, International Cheque, Bank Draft and International Money order. And we are looking into Documentary collection.

Basically, there are two types of Documentary collection --> Documents against payment and Documents against acceptance. And my lecturer spent about two hours to explain the whole theory to us. And I seem to become problem kid and keep asking question to him. And yeah I have a very clear picture of everything.

Merlion!!

Esplanade Roof Terrace

It so hot!!

02-02-09

2009-02-02T16:23:00.002+08:00

Time now is 1625hrs
I am now at a Internet Lan shop at Stamford Road.

Today I went to Jurong East Sport Complex at around 1020hrs and actually found that Opening hr for the swimming pool will only start at 1430hrs. As it is going to disrupt my plan, I skipped the swimming part and went straight to the Gym. Did some upper body exercise with some machines and Brisk walking on the Trac machine. While I was doing brisk walking, I try to sing softly some praise and worship and it really keep me in tempo and I have a brisk walking session.

After that, I had lunch at the market nearby and proceeded to esplanade and find one corner to study on my course material as I am having lession later. But that place really too cosy liao. And I think I was tired by the morning workout and I couldn't concentrate my study. So ended up I stopped study and went to Rooftop and start taking photo with my camera. I will download the photo to the blog later when I get back home.

And finally here I am at a Lan Shop and assessing to internet because I am worry that there might be anything cropping up in office. Just log on and take a look and nothing really happened.

It feel so good today as I don't need to worry about shipment or the cars or the what ever nuisances from the office.

Oh yeah I will officially launch my journal's eye blog soon. Stay tuned!!

02-02-09 Part 2

2009-02-02T00:52:00.002+08:00

Time now is 0052hrs.
Early sunday morning went to Mingyao place for bible study and yeah completed two chapters and taken the quiz. Yeah managed to talk to Mingyao over alot of things including my problems. He gave me some good advices and I will go and follow it accordingly.

On this point, although he advise that I should not isolate myself. But I will really appreciate that I can have some time with myself and let me think what I can do in work, in study, in spiritual life and as myself. And I really don't want people to disturb me for now. So I wouldn't be switching on my phone for next two weeks.

But something I can assure everyone. I am old enough to think liao. I still have a lot unfinished job to take care of inside and outside my life. And that all cell group meeting and service and prayer meeting I will be there. I wouldn't go missing.

To all other people who is related with at work, don't disturb me. Just take it that myself as a vessel is inside ship yard for maintainance and will really to serve you after 15-02-09.

Today met Qiu Ting and her husband. Woah QT driving leh. not bad wor. We went to eat at Jurong West Street 41 Blk 480. There is a vegetarian store there that selling Yong Tau Fu and it is nice one lor. Too bad didn't bring my camera out if not I will take photo of the food.

After gathering with both of them, I went to Jurong Point and watch Love Matters. Comedy but it bring out message of love. Nice movie...

And yeah, everything is clear and fine liao. Glad that she clear the whole thing and I will let the matter go.

02-02-09

2009-02-02T00:30:00.002+08:00

Should anyone have any life and death situation need to look for me, you may locate me at these places.

Schedule for 02-02-09
8 a.m --> Jurong East Sport Complex (Gym)
10a.m --> Jurong East Swimming Complex
2 p.m --> Esplanade Library
6 p.m --> Lesson at Bukit Merah
12p.m --> Home

Schedule for 03-02-09
8 a.m --> Jurong East Sport Complex (Gym)
10 a.m --> Jurong East Swimming Complex
1 p.m. --> Jurong East National Library (Project)
3 p.m --> Sentosa Flower Fair
6 p.m --> unknown at the moment
12 p.m --> Home.

All schedule are subjected to last minute rearrangement depending on the weather and the mood of the person.

01-02-09

2009-02-01T03:18:00.002+08:00

Time now is 0318hrs
This post is specially annoucement that Miss Delphin Fur Qing Tong is officially my sister...
Hope it clear all doubts...
**Yawning
Have to put it up before she spasm me.. Lolx..

31-01-09

2009-01-31T00:06:00.002+08:00

Time now is 0007hrs.
Today is the last working day for me before I am going for 14 days long holidays. The last time I was on leave was in Oct 08. This rest is deserving because I have been very much burdened at work. I was at one point taking on 3 person's job. But I was not appreciated by anyone of them. I am starting to think why I worked so hard for the company. Yeah I am too soft-hearted. I should heck care and just live my life peacefully.

On love, I am still very much in state of confusion. I sorted of betrayed my principle, but I don't want to keep it to the end of the world. So ended up I tell her everything on I felt about her. From there I didn't hear anything from her. I guess she wouldn't give me any reply at all. Yeah I think this might be the best way out of it. Silly me... Why am I so frank to her?

Got this feeling that the Nian Gao, Tang Yuan and Yu Sheng will be wasted... But nevermind... let it be bah... Maybe God is letting me to exercise my brain cell and exercise my body by doing shopping.

Announcement!!
I will be on leave from 02-02-09 to 15-02-09 and I will be switching off my phone and that urgent matters please msn me. If it is not urgent, please do not disturb me. I am very tired and confused.

29-01-09

2009-01-29T20:43:00.002+08:00

Time now is 2040hrs.

I did something I usually wouldn't do. I called the person that I like and told her I fall in love with her on Tuesday night. I think I am out of mind and furthermore I shouldn't have fallen in love with her. I think she was in the state of shock after I told her that I fallen in love with her. But I don't want to deny that anymore. Whether she will accept my love or not, I leave it to her, because I think my feeling for her is real can already.

Guess what... I was quite sick on wednesday morning and when I reached office, the first thing I did was to go to the Gent and throwout. I actually wanted to go for MC but thought that there will be shipment going on so didn't do that. I endured all the way to the end of the day and went home and faint inside my bedroom. Yes I really fainted inside my bedroom, recovering my conscienciousness only after 11pm. This morning, I was still not feeling well so I decided to just go and see doctor and stay at home.

When I wake up after a nap in the afternoon, I got a shock that the cg reunion dinner is actually scheduled tomorrow instead of sunday. So ended up I wake up and went online to look for any place that I can buy Fried Nian Gao and cooked Tang Yuan instead of cooking them myself. To my dismaym, there isn't anywhere that sell Fried Nian Gao and if I buy Tang Yuan cdooked outside it is going to cost alot.

So decided to cook the Nian Gao and Tang Yuan myself and keep it in fridge and reheat up at Mingyao place tomorrow. The one more thing I need help will be from someone to help me bring down the food from my side to Mingyao's place. But then no one is free at the moment to help. Hopefully someone can lend me a hand later on.

25-01-09 Part 2

2009-01-25T16:35:00.011+08:00

Time now is 1637hrs.

In another 8 more hours we will be usher in the Year Of Ox.

To me Ox is a very hardworking animal. Just look at the rice your eat you will understand why. I think we should the spirit of Ox and though this economic crisis, we will keep on trying and work hard and never give up.

A friend ask me last night. He say why are people so optimistic and positive. I ask him why must be negative. Actually no matter how bad is situation, you cannot stop hoping that things will get better. Because when you stop hoping, it will become hopeless and how are you going to come out of difficulty. If you believe that you can overcome obstacles, you win half of the war against it.

Finally, I have make over my room. Though not as perfect as what I thought, but I guess it is good and different from the previous years. Very tiring... But I managed to complete everything just in time. Haha... Not bad!! Lolx

25-01-09

2009-01-25T00:01:00.003+08:00

Time now is 0000hrs.

In another 30 mins, I am going to start my Mission Make Over James' Room in 7 hrs.
Some of you may be wondering what do I mean by that. Ok.. For the past few days I was too busy with my life that I couldn't clear up my stuffs and paint my room. so after some consideration, I decided to do it one night before the Lunar New Year Eve... It gonna be challenging. I am starting at this timing because no one will disturb me and I can concentrate with what I wanna do to make bedroom provided I don't make so much noise.

After 7 hrs I am going to post up new picture of my room to the blog... Though it is a small room, But I am going to make it look nice. Lolx...

17-01-09

2009-01-17T21:31:00.003+08:00

Time now is 2130hrs.

I am very depressed...

I am not happy with myself...

I am not happy with work...

I am not happy with my life...

I am not happy with the people around me...

I am so unhappy about work... Why am helping a moron boss in the work? He is someone really not capable to be our boss. During such a downtime, he almost chased away all the customers, have problem with my oversea agents, have problems with the whole team. Horrible lah!! I am very tired... Running around the EPZ... Rushing my work... Still have to take care of my study...
There is so many hyprocitics in my office... please please please... If you want to wear a mask infront of me, then don't appear infront of me... don't smile in front of me and behind shoot me with cold arrow.

In term of spiritual life, it is moving no where for me. I don't know what I want to do. Yes I planned with bible studies and ministry participation. But something is missing. I feel that God have not tell me what I need to do for this year. I feel very lost. I feel that spiritually I am not moved.

I feel that I constantly in anger... I am not a happy person anymore... But I can't show it out. I just keep swallowing it down my stomach. I think people tend to take me for granted. It is always like that. When you worked very hard and the things is successful, no one will praise you. Not even a "Thank You." And when something cropped up, all the fingers is pointed at you.

I am going to go on leave... I am going to off my phone... just go missing...

Glad that she is alright...

14-01-09

2009-01-14T00:13:00.002+08:00

Time now is 1220hrs.
Driving the company van again. Is it good or bad? While it may seem to be good to other, it is not exactly good for me. It mean additional responsibility and extra expenses incurring. So I really don't know whether it is good to drive the van around.

At the same time, I am dealing with work again. I want to let go on forming consol. The fact is when the sales personnel can't even do nothing about it, what else can I do? The question of who am I keep ringing in my head? i want to say I am God's child. But yet there are so many thing that I can't do anything about.

I suddenly felt that I am losing faith in everything. I don't have confident in my work. i don't have the motivation to carry on believe I should, I don't have the courage to declare my love to people. I don't have the strength to go storms and trials.

Can I MIA for two weeks? I am asking myself... Just let me sleep for 2 weeks also good.

...Hopefully she is alright...

11-01-08

2009-01-11T01:55:00.002+08:00

Time now is 0200hrs.
After so many months, finally saw Li Xin... Glad that she is alright. Wanted to pass her the card, but in the end, I didn't. It is her birthday and I don't want to make her upset with my card. I know that she have her reason and giving her encouragement as per in my card may not help. Therefore, this card will be frozen for awhile and when time is right then I give it to her.

In my heart, I wish that the adult connect group can have a full attendance prayer conference. That include Li Xin actually. Because she is part of the connect group. I prayed for for it but it may not happen so soon. I don't know after the Appreciation Night will there be any changes for the cell group. i think by right I should be going to adult cell group already, but I don't wish to go yet. Reason being I hope that I can contribute more to the current cg.

Chloe is in TTS. Xue Ting is very worried for her sister. I hope that Chloe is in stable condition and that she will recover soon. Actually I saw she is being escorted out of the service but I never thought that it become so serious that she is warded. She is a strong person and I pray that she will be fine soon. As for Xue Ting, I am worried for her because she didn't rest well, somemore her immune system not strong and will get sick quite easily. Hope that both of them will be in good health in 2009.

06-02-09 is coming. I am turning 27 years old.
What is the anointing that God have given to me?

But one thing that I want to thank God for, will be he have never left me helplessly alone. The past week saw 3 of my colleagues on leave. I have to handle the whole used car section of export. but I am glad that I still managed to do everything to my best ability and that things appeared fine so far.

01-01-09

2009-01-02T00:06:00.002+08:00

My 2009 Wishes

1. The walk with God in my life
Hope to finish up the remaining chapters of Getting Started and move on other part of Bible study. Being able to spend more time to read my bible and wishes that God through bible will be able to give direction in my life. At the same time, I hope to join the ministry and remained active with the cell group. Why so? because I feel that it is a chance that we can walk this path together and chance don't always come. I cherish the time that we are still in same cell group. I know I wouldn't be in the youth cell group forever and so I cherish the time.

2. Slim Down
Well been talking about it for the past two years. Really want to get it done..

3. Go higher in my career path
I want to move up to do sales and marketing in the year of 2009. Even though it is going to be a year of uncertainity, I want to move up my career into any level and that do something I felt that I am doing much better at. With operation background, I know I can handle everything better.

4. Owning car
That is my dream... I was hoping that I can own a car --Nissan Sunny, Toyota Altis or even Hyundai Matrix... I don't need a big car, but a car that I use when I go out for sales or even help me in my travelling.

4. Getting my tuba and participate in the World Music Contest
I hope that in this year I will be able to purchase my own tuba. I know that in order to join the philharmonic orchestra in church ministry, I need to have own instrument if I wouldn't be able to make it. I hope that I can do it this year. At the same time, participating in the WMC have been in my dream as well.

5. Finishing up my diploma
I hope that 2009 will be a year that I can finish up my diploma course and that I will be able to move further by taking advance diploma. I want to go into getting a degree too. Being through my working life I understand that education is so much important.

6. Travelling and tour.
In 2008, I actually wanted to travel to Taiwan and Australia which was not done due to some factor. I hope that I will do it and that add it into my memories. At the same time, I hope that I can also be a freelance travel and tour blogger. I can blog on the different places that I go and the interesting things that I see.

7. Being in Love
Something I always based on this principle... I hope that my partner is someone I love and love me. Yeah the wish of settling down is there. But i will leave it to God to decide... He will choose the correct one for me.

8. Being happy, helpful in my life
I hope to lead a happy life and that I hope that I can help people within my limit.

31-12-08

2008-12-31T00:29:00.002+08:00

Time now is 0029hrs.

I have a thousand and one thing to blog about. But frankly I don't which to start first.

At church last week, we have christmas celebrations and we invited our friends to join us. This is the first time I see everyone in S33 putting all the efforts. There is so many new friends and there isn't enough members to look after the new friends. Amazing right? This prove that S33 can do when all of us put in our heart in it. I am very glad that Eric, Jackson and Hui Xian recieved Salvation from the Lord Jesus. So happy for them. Hopefully they will also come in be active member of the S33 and the Church.

You know what... something I cannot understand is the heart of the leader. Well I have a chatted with Xue Ting just now, I think I got to know her better. Her situation, the action that she have to take, all of all are not easy. It is definately not simple. Being once a leader myself in school I know that. How to balance everyone in the group. How to take care of different members?
I guess the only thing I can do will be to assist and coorperate with the COGC and CGL in the cell group. And meantime, I hope that I can contribute ideas that we can outreach to the people who are hurt, who are starving, who are homeless and so on.

Meanwhile I am still can't decide which ministry I should go for. I feel that I should be with the cell group more but I also need to serve. I am thinking even if ultimately if I have to serve in Security Ministry, I will choose to serve in the different time slot as the service I am supposed to attend. That is my plan. But going to be tiring.

So much so about recent events in church.

At work?

Thuzar's mum suddenly passed away on Christmas Day. I was very shocked when I recieved her sms in the morning on this news. Just last month, she went back to Yangon and accompanied her mum on the eyes operation. Everything was fine and decided back to Singapore and resumed her work. No one will have thought it to be like this. I know she must be very upset but she still act so calm and brave in front of us. she came last friday, handed all her job to Meihua and she flew off to Yangon. she wouldn't be back till 16 Jan 2009.

Meihua going to be on leave on 02 Jan 2009. There must be something wrong with my boss. How can him let her on leave? The whole Used Car side only left me alone. And to make matter worse, Roger is going to leave from 7 Jan 2009 for 2 weeks for eye operation. That mean EPZ operation I have to take care too. And ship spares? How huh? Meanwhile my sales department think I am what? Their Secretary?? My manager want me to check and file RORO rate and schedules. Haiz.. If next week they going to ask me to do that, my work load will be piling sky high. Guess I am going to earn alot of OT next week onward.

Tomorrow have to go back to office earlier to prepare myself with all the work coming at me.

26-12-08

2008-12-26T21:19:00.006+08:00

Looking Back at 2008

This was my wish list that I hope to accompolish

Wish List for 2008
1. To be successful in my work.
2. Go Australia in June for holiday
3. Go Taiwan in Dec for Holiday.
4. Want to get my diploma and fill up the regret due to my youthful foolishness.
5. Able to make more friends
6. Hope to find someone I like and truly like me and be together.
7. Own a Nissan Sunny
8. Slim down
9. Able to go back and play my tuba.
10.Be able to lead a happy and cheerful without much problems.

1. Am I successful in work?
Well I will say 2008 is still a year that I gained alot of experiences in work. I have the chances to do alot of work that I didn't have the chance when I was with Asian Groupage. Through not everything is according to what I wished for, I am still happy that I stayed with Zim Logistics for the past one year and that I got my first 13th month AWS.

2. Holidays?
Yeah something I couldn't fulfil. Reason being that I started my diploma course with Singapore Logistics Association and that econmy went quite bad and of cos it will hit me as I am doing logistics. But I will still keep this in my wish list in 2009

3. Diploma??
Yeah it is in progress. My company have sponsored me for the Diploma in International Freight Management in August. I will be finishing the course in October 2009. So I think if there is n't major changes, I should be finishing course. At the same, I am also certified to handle dangerous as I have gone through and passed the Dangerous Course organised by SAAA.

4. New friends/ Old friends??
The year of 2008 saw alot of new faces in my life.
Particularly members of S33 Cellgroup. Perhap I looked much younger as I mixed together with them. They are my best friends in my live and I actually hope that even if the cell group multiplied, we can be forever close to each other.

5. Love??
Sorry to say.. Have someone that I like.. But that someone have someone in heart... But if the couple don't love each other then we is the purpose? I hope and pray that correct person will come into my life.

6. Owning a Car??
Nope... no money leh.. How huh?
but nevertheless, I had a lot chances to drive on my company van whenever my colleague go on leave and I take over his duty. But I still hope that I own a Sunny or Matrix or Civic. Hope that my dream can come true in 2009.

7. Slim down??
Nope... Didn't get fatter or slimmer. I am still who I am in the beginning of year.

8. Playing tuba??
Yeah... After stopping practising for 4 years, i finally have the chance to perform with Centre of New Life Wind Ensemble. Hopefully that I will have more chances to perform with the band.

9. Am I happy with my life??
2008 is better than 2007. Through there are times that I unhappy, but it is insignificant comparing the time I had joy.

Conclusion...
God is good to me in 2008. Changes make grow stronger. And that I know I am now more confident to face challenges coming my way in 2009

20-12-08

2008-12-21T02:23:00.006+08:00

This was in my mind just now...
"Why must you time after time throw me into deep pits when I was so happy?
All I ask was to let you see this prospective before you act. That all... Why such unreasonable hash words on me. Do you know that it hurts? "

What I sms to that person... I mean it... And I am going to do that when the time is right...

Tell you something... For the past 2 weeks, I really don't feel loved... I very tired at office after so many accusation at me... As I am typing this part of the blog, I am very very upset... Does giving the best for my customer wrong? I did a reasonable stuffs so that company can still maintain this customer with them. I tried my best to change the fact that our business is going downhill. I give up already... What they want to do, just do it bah... I am not going to care anymore... If company want to sacked or retrench me or whatsoever, go ahead...
The only thing i have in my heart for now is hatre...

p.s.
*** Sorry Eve... I wouldn't be a good armour to you... You don't need me too... You know that... Perhap you are correct... I cannot understand your heart as a leader... I am not a good connect group member, not a good cell group member... I don't fellowship with people... Always so stubborn in the things I do and the outlook I am... I am not worthy of what you wrote in my appreciation paper...***

***Sorry winnie if I was to break my promises to you... Love the people around you cos they love you too... And your milk tea is nice... really...***

10-12-08

2008-12-10T11:04:00.003+08:00

Time now is 1105hrs.

Yesterday afternoon I have been driving non stop. First went back to office and take the BL for surrender and cash for a cargo. Then went down to Harper shipping at to Surrender the BL, after that gone to Tanker Pacific at Millemia Tower and go to Agility at Alp near Changi Airfreight Centre and went to Parkway Parade to collect a big parcel back to office.

But one thing good is that I am getting home the earliest of all the time. Nothing much at the EPZ because usually no one will buy and store alot of cars during bad economy. It is the same concept as warehousing. But surprisingly, Zim Logistics' warehouse is doing not bad. I hope it will carry on that way next year.

Meanwhile I am still thinking about Used Car business for Zim Logistics. The competition is very stiff now. There are new players coming in for a share of pie. And with the time so bad now. What can we do to have the cutting edge in this trade. This is something that I want to think about.

Today is a very quiet day at the EPZ and I am falling asleep already... Nohting much to do actually. I have already shifted the cars that can be moved and the rest of that can't I also can't do much about it.

Let see what I can as time goes by.

09-12-08

2008-12-09T11:36:00.003+08:00

Quote of the week
"Nevermind there is no bonus, be glad that you are not retrenched.
Nevermind you are retrenched, be glad that you may find a better job.
Nevermind you cannot find a new job, be glad that you have the time to rest.
Because there will be a long way to go in life..."

ok... December is here. Haha.. There is alot of things going on this month.

Last Tuesday I was informed by my manager that there I am going to stand in for my colleague as he is going oversea for a week. I am like why me again. Can they get someone else? While I guess I do not have much choices and have to take up the job. Driving around the whole island again. Parking cars under the hot sun again and so on.

But then again, maybe it is a blessing in disguise. Because I can use the company van. So when it came on last saturday, I was able to drive friends for the outreach event. Yeah talking about the outreach event which was the Treetop Walk, I think it is quite successful because everyone really put in efforts and go up to shaky bridge. Haha.. At the same time, we managed to introduce two new friends to the cell group. They are Hui Xian and Jackson. Hope that subsequently we will be able invite them to our church events and may them be able to get Salvation from Him.

Started work on saturday at the EPZ. It is not as busy as before. In fact I think everyone slowed down very much over here. I don't see much packing over here and that not many cars coming in as well. Then on sunday I went up to Zim Iberia. Yeah I remember the nice Ship Master and the Chief Engineer. Of so many vessel I enjoyed working with them.

Ok I am changing my clothes and leaving for office. Hopefully that everything will be alright here while I am away...

30-11-08

2008-11-30T18:07:00.002+08:00

Time now is 1810hrs.

Today is a Sunday and yes finally my examination is over. Have been very busy for the last few weeks.

Where should I start it off?

I finally returned back to office after the one week of training of Dangerous Good Course at Changi Airfreight centre on 17-11-08. I have to face the reality of the fact that I have lost a major customer due to the lost BL issue.

I talked to my General Manager on this issue. And I know my company is really protecting me all the way. But indirectly I feel that i really can't do anything to put things back into the track and that the customer can carry on to ship with us. Losing this customer had a significant impact on me. My morale at work is actually very low right now. Furthermore, I heard from my immediate superior that it will become a legal case. Yeah my heart sink liao. Very hard to put tings back to normal track and I know there is nothing else I can do and leave it to the management level to decide my fate.

Next I will like to blog about the Asia Conference 2008.

Indeed it is a high impact, touching people, transforming nation event. Although I missed alot of the session due to work committment and examination. I still managed to go and attended the few sessions. I remembered that Pastor Kong talking about engaging the marketplace. I have always agreed with this concept because I believe that if you want to engage the society, you need to find them where they can be found and not to wait for them to look for you. At the meantime, we need to the value the principles but be open-minded on people around us.

The speakers are also very outstanding as well.

Benny Hinn really did miracles that night. Although not many people understand why his concept is that way, but I guess I know why after thinking for awhile. Nevertheless, the flow of the Holy-Spirit is so strong than usual. I am at the overflow hall and I can still feel it.

On Sunday finale, it is Mr A R Bernard really that touches me. Yeah with the sermon that he have delivered to us, we wil use it in the marketplace that we are engaging right now. Yeah through life may not be easy, I know that with our God around, things can be changed. I know that I will change and that I will become a good example in office that our God wants us to be.

So Asia conference ended with a high note and that there was alot of celebrities performed for us. People like Liu Geng Hong and JJ Lin. That are also creating impact in the world of entertainments. If they can do it, why can't we do the same in our own marketplace?.

My feel for this conference? I am glad that I was able to attend this occasion and that I have boasted with alot of confidence with what I believed all along.

That all for Asia Conference 2008. And I am look forward to Asia Conference 2010!

On study front, I had my examination on 20 and 27 Nov 2008.

On 20th Nov, I had my sea freight examination. That is don't after how long that I do examination again. I am pressured because I really don't have much time to study. So I just prayed and do whatever I could. It was the same on 27th Nov when I did my Airfreight examination and yeah I believe that I will do well this time.

What about relationship with people?

I will say that I always put my trust on people. I don't like to betray other trust in me and at the same time, I hate people that betrayed my trust. Trust is a valuable element in my life. So when I tell you a secret, it is really a secret wor.

Like someone from the background and not let her know is quite tiring too...

Yeah I like someone... But I don't intend to tell her... Because I don't know what I can provide for her. In relationship I believe that I should be the provider to her and that I must bring her happiness. but I don't know what can I give her. Furthermore, she seem that she ignored my care and concern to her. What can I do? I know she did it on purpose. She know that I like her and she tried to distance herself. But hmm... Beat me to death I also won't admit to her that I like her. Haha... Meanwhile I am also not ready for a relationship.

Woah.. I ended the blogging today... Tomorrow will be the last month of the year... Do my best bah...

15-11-08

2008-11-15T02:07:00.003+08:00

Time now is 0208hrs.
Yesterday I finally finished the first of three examination papers.
I was very worried the day before because I missed the one of the most important lesson that was on Radioactive materials. Thought of go home and read up but ended up got so confused.
but yesterday morning was like snap and I know it all somehow. Really miracle...

After the whole thing, I travelled down to Mutsafa to get the white short for today water Baptism. Woah I have a hard time to find the short for my size. Walk around for awhile before find the right one.

Alot of thing to go on tomorrow.. Better go and sleep le...

13-11-08

2008-11-13T19:45:00.003+08:00

Time now is 1945hrs...
I have been losing my sleep over the lost BL problem.
I am very tired and tomorrow will be the first paper of exam. I am really down and don't have the strength to take the examination. And because of the Lost BL issue I skipped two of the most important lesson and is very lost in this course.

Miracles must take place for me to pass this exam... And more to score good result....

11-11-08

2008-11-11T21:36:00.002+08:00

Time now is 2140hrs.

Last two days have been attending Dangerous Good Course at the Changi Airfreight Centre. Yeah company ask me to go the course, but this time it only added pressure on me. Now I have three papers to take care of. I am very tired with all of the pressure that is pressing me down.

Meanwhile The lost BL issue still cannot be resolved. I don't know what to do. I cannot sleep properly for the past few nights and I still don't know what to do.

I tried to reduce my pressure by talking to people. Alot of people gave me alot of supports and ask me not to think to much. But none of them can help me at all. No one can help me... So end up my conclusion is telling people about become no purposes.

Yeah sometime I ask myself... Who in my life will really help me when I am in need? But conclusion is I don't have any friend that will really help me in my life. I am very de-moralised now.

I beginning to doubt the values that I always believe in.

09-11-08

2008-11-09T02:12:00.003+08:00

Time now is 0213hrs.
Saturday went on as usual. I just sleep and rest at home until it is time for me to go for Church. Tell you something, I was glad I have a friend who will sms me in middle of the night and cheer me up.

Today service really about impacting the marketplace. I feel that god want me to impact the company. Pastor preached about how a town in Argentina have been transformed through the power of god. I wonder am I anointed to bring christianity into my company. I believe god will tell me what to do and I will follow his instruction. But on the whole, I just want to not let anyone down in this company and that if I want to left the company I will leave with no regret.

My problem with the lost BL is still not resolved yet. I don't know what should I do. I remembered that I have sent out the BL. How can it be that they didn't recieved the document?

07-11-08

2008-11-07T19:45:00.003+08:00

Time now is 1930hrs.
Been very sick recently but something happened and I couldn't take rest since I went to back to work.

Update my trip to KL. Yeah I went to my friend wedding dinner. Very kampong like. All the people there are the neighbours and neigbourhood is not small. It still divided into different zones. So I was lost when I was going there and gosh taxi driver also don't know the way after I give the address to him. Traffic jam in KL is indeed very bad. Everywhere is jam with cars. a 20 mins trip become a 1 hour plus trip.

After I left the wedding dinner, I also went back to the restaurant that my friend is working there. Yeah met Jing Jing there and have chat wih her for awhile. I have not seen her since March trip. Glad she is alright and her work is fine.

The next day when I wake up, I feel something is wrong with me, I was running a fever already with running nose. I was like cannot make it already in the morning. But I forced myself to wake up and ate some breakfast and rushed to the terminal for boarding the bus back to Singapore. Once I went up the bus I started to sleep and wake up occassionally to look at where I was. I reached Tuas checkpoint around 12.30pm and after all custom formalities, I alighted the tour bus near the Raffles Marina Club and get a taxi to church service.

As I promised my friend in church that I will be back to church in time for Prayer session and Service. I am glad I didn't break that. I was there at the church at 2pm sharp, only to find out that none of the cell group members is there yet and that the prayer session is 2.30pm. When I was there I am really floating and my body is shutting down and I keep telling myself that promise must be fulfilled. Went through the prayer session and service. At the end of the service I am already want to fainted. But still cannot go home.

Due the submission date of the project is monday, after service I have to rush to meet my group members and finalised how the project going to be presented. When I was there in the library, my head is like breaking already. I felt like I want to ram my head at the pillar.

I reached home at 9pm that night and went to find ways and means to do something on my sickness.

So what happened over the week?

Group project for the airfreight project is finally done and alot of efforts is put in and I was very happy that everything is alright. The mark we will leave it to the lecturer to decide. Upcoming due project are Airfreight personal project and Sea Freight group project.

Exam is also coming and my exam date is on 20-11-08 for Sea Freight module and 28-11-08 for Airfreight module. Yeah I am stressed. Because there is alot of revision that I need to do while working. I don't have much time.

At work, everything is in a mess. Seem that there was a lot of backlog that I have to clear and the whole operation department want me to clear them first before taking up new jobs. some of the shipper only wanted me to handle them because I know them and work with them well. I can't do anything but to follow the department instruction.

Making the matter worse, two of the BLs that I send out to customer went missing and that a Banker Guarantee of about 240 thousand USD is needed to furished to the carrier before they will release container to the customer at destination. I talked to my boss and seem that he is not helping me at all and I have to settle everything on my own. Because of this I have lost my sleep for the past few days. Where am I going to find this amount of Banker Guarantee?

Worse still, I am stuck in a management situation, I was last minute notify that I need to go for the Airfreight Dangerous Goods Course at Changi Airfreight Centre on Monday. HR manager say I need to take over my colleague and attend the course. But my manager just called me and want me to return back to the office tomorrow. Now you tell me, If I don't go, there wouldn't be any refund for the course, and if I go back to office, I wouldn't able to make it for lesson as late comer will be refused to entry.

I was supposed to be at Cell Group meeting tonight, but I never go because my flu is still very strong and I don't want to infect anyone in the cell group. Some of my colleagues already claimed that I pass the virus to them. I don't want the same thing happening to the cell group members. but Winnie think that I am stubborn and don't want to go for Cell Group Meeting. She thought that I am dwelling over my own problems. Yes but the main reason is I am sick and I don't want to infect anyone.

No point for me to explain that to her. I have been explaining and explainig to people on things and that I am very tired.

31-10-08

2008-10-31T13:33:00.004+08:00

Time now is 1333hrs.
I am right here at Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia.
I am supposed to attend a friend wedding dinner. Haha.. Didn't seen her for sometime and I wonder how is she. Should be busy preparing herself now.

I left Singapore this morning at 8am and it was a smooth journey all the way to KL. There was some passing rain but nope it didn't stop us from reaching the destination earlier. I was expecting myself to reach KL at 1400hrs but I was one hour early and here I am updating my blog at Sungei Wang Shopping Centre at the Internet shop that I visited the other time.

My schedule for today will be visiting Pasar Rakyat bus terminal after this. So that I wouldn't be lost at the most critical moment that is to board the bus home to Singapore. Maybe if there is still time, I will go and visit the Twin Tower also.

I am supposed to reach my friend's place for her wedding dinner at 1900hrs. So I guess I should get myself ready by 1800hrs and perhap get a cab down to her place.. Hmm... her place is abit dun know where is it... So hopeful that the cab driver will know how to go.

After the Wedding dinner, I will try to visit Chinatown if it is still early and be in bed early so that I wouldn't overslept for tomorrow journey back.

Ok I will update my blog again tomorrrow night when I reach Singapore, attended the Church Service and meet up with my project pals for monday Airfreight Group Project Presentation.

28-10-08

2008-10-28T13:58:00.002+08:00

Time now is 1400hrs.

I am updating the blog before I am going out to have rehearsal and attend the audition this evening. And yes I am attending the audition at YMCA building and my audition time is at 2010hrs. Till now I don't know what song I should sing. I have 5 songs in my mind now and will try it out later.

I wonder how things will goes about. I am abit low confident and morale. Because of the choir and Asia Conference auditions of which both I guess failed. Nevertheless, I am going all things behind my head and be myself. I am going to just have fun. If I can get into final, it will be a bonus to me. There is not much chance for me to have fun at my age in term of music. I am not as siao on for Band music like what I did when I am in Poly or Secondary school days.

Yeah I working adult already lor... Must have the adult mindset too. I must think and think and be responsible for consequences. So at the end of the day, I ended up don't have the courage to pursuit what I love and binded by reality.

So I am giving myself a chance to stand at the stage and sing out loud what I think and feels.

26-10-08

2008-10-26T01:46:00.004+08:00

Time now is 0147hrs.
I am actually feeling very upset for the last one week.
Had a fight at home and injured myself while this happened...
Company have retrenched people...
Alot of cropped up at work...
Project not finished....
Study not doing well...
See two friend in need yet I can't do anything at all to help...

So friends... you see that I am very happy... I am not...
I want to run away like what one of my friend is doing... but will it solve the problem? no...
Yes I am very negative now...
I feel that I want to lock myself up for the next one week at home...
I want to think it over again what I can do and ask god to tell me what I should do...

To one friend,
Can you don't bang your hand at things? And can you dun argue with your mum? Can you cherish your study because it is through your parent that you have a chance to continue to study? Never give up can? And if you remember the bet, I want you to win me.. and of cos I am not going to lose so easily...

To another friend,
If you will ever see this blog, contact us... We love and care for you... Really...

15-10-08

2008-10-15T20:52:00.003+08:00

Time now is 2053hrs.

I noticed something about myself recently. I am more and more loosing my cool at work. Am I tired already? I seriously don't know. I just suddenly feel that it is so hopeless to change something by yourself. The whole team are not moving at all. And the only thing I can do is to just stand there and see everything unfolding.

One of the colleague say this about freight collect shipment. Why do I take such a dirty job? To me it is like what do you mean by dirty job? Can I choose my job? They are our customer isn't it? At one hand people say not to let go our customer, and at other hand they are not taking job. They can go home on time, but what about me? Am I not tired? I am like reaching home everyday after 11pm. They say they are very busy. What about me? Based on the number of shipment at my hand, I have nothing to do?

Yeah I feel like quitting. But the more you want me to do that I wouldn't do it.

Sincerely, most of my colleagues have lost my respect to them. There is currently two person that I really respected them. The rest of them is like this phase. "When the King of Beast is missing, Monkey take its place" The company have not direction. It is just floating day after day. And the things wouldn't improve even when the warehouse is up. I don't believe that warehousing can do much because of the economy status now. So how? Just see the company fold up?

I feel so hopeless now...

12/10/2008

2008-10-12T22:22:00.002+08:00

My most recent photo with S33...

Haha... Do I look younger? Definately when join them twice a week. Make me feel younger too.
Lolx.

11-10-08

2008-10-11T21:11:00.004+08:00

Time now is 2112hrs.
I just came back from church service today.
Something I am very agreed on what Pastor Kong is that god is the provider when you need supply.

I guess most of Singaporean should know that Singapore is going through the recession now. But the shipping line and freight forwarders, it have already happened since the late first and beginning second quarter of this year. My company have already feel the impact since the beginning of this year. And the Retrenchment have started last week, much more earlier than what is reported in the newspaper. Yes I wanted to take this last quarter of the year seriously so that company will be able to recover some loss for this year. but frankly I didn't expect it will be successful. I believe that our God will look after us at the marketplace and I just go ahead and see what I can do.

I wanted to share this during our cell group meeting last friday. but come to think about it. I think I will make this report at the end of the month when I tallied up the total shipments for October. What I can say now is it is really miracle. The number of containers that I have right now stand at 73 containers. Normal at this time of the month I will only hit 30 containers. But the first week of this month i have already exceeded 30 containers. If you read my previous posting, you wil know that I am targeting 80 containers this month, I think if this bloom carry on, I will be increasing my forecast for this month soon.

I wanna thank God for the care and guidance and His grace in my work. As I promised i will be a good finisher and I will do it. I hope my Lord will continue to give us His Grace and my company to go through this difficult time.

I will be finishing the group project on the air freight as well as my personal project by tomorrow. After that I will really go and concentrate on the study and I must score good result in order to repay the trust from my company. For Sea freight, I am not going to wait for my group member but to give them a guideline on how we can proceed a project.

Tomorrow is Sunday and I am going to make good use of it...

09-10-08

2008-10-09T23:44:00.006+08:00

Time now is 2345hrs.
Past one week have been busy.
I don't know why..
Business is coming back suddenly for my company.
Very very busy. Haha... but Very very tired too...

My plan for this month is 80 containers. And till today calculation, I am at about 60 containers. That is something that is not in my expectation at all.I am like woah. sure or not. As I was on off in lieu after 3.30pm, my booking still carried on. Really lor... I am very excited and at the same time feel very panic. I don't know whether it will last throughout the last quarter of the year. This October to December is very important for the company.

At the moment, I need to plan to secure back all our customer and resume their confident in us. And at the same time, I need to assist my boss to recapture and build up the shipment to Durban and other Africa and Middle East shipments. I believe in my company that it can become better and I will work on it.

Meanwhile at study I am not doing very well. Things that I should have finished still not completed. The deadline again is pressuring me. I am very worried that things will be able to work out well on the project.

Tomorrow we will be having cell group meeting at Clement's place, which mean that I need to go off on the dot tomorrow. I think I better be in the office early tomorrow morning. I will need to print out all invoices and BLs and settle payment to Carriers.

Actually my heart is not very peaceful right now... Was hoping that I can pray with someone. But I guess it is too late now... Hope that everything will be alright.

01-10-08

2008-10-01T22:21:00.002+08:00

Time now is 2222hrs.
Yesterday Winnie and I went to Swensen. Well I actually promised her that if she can passed her Theory Test with one pass I will treat her a meal at Swensen. And yes she did it with one pass. So yeah the treat was on me. Had a good meal there.

Well before that in office my boss finally announced to us about the retrenchment in our company. And yeah I am stressed now. but no one in my family knows about it. Perhap I don't want them to worry to. This will be the first time this term retrenchment is so near to me. There are already some news that certain people are going to be axed and it will be make known to them tomorrow.

I feeling very heavy burden at my back. At one point I need to concentrate on my study and another point I need to worry about the sales of my company and my rice bowl. Actually I wanted to talk to Chak Kwang and Jowell today. In fact for the past few weeks I was looking forward to our friendship day. And yeah we are supposed to celebrate it together. But none of these two friends have taken it seriously. And finally I got really fedup and I just tell them to call it off. If we are not serious about it then we don't do it. That is my principle all along.

I feel so trapped inside myself. Wondering how... Hope that tomorrow will be a better day.

28-09-08

2008-09-28T20:10:00.004+08:00

Time now is 2011 hrs
I didn't do much today. I just stayed at home and rest and think about what I want in life. This is the question that have been bothering me for quite some time. I think I am flicking minded. Because to other it is such a easy question but to me it is so difficult to answer.

I missed alot of my old friends today. How are they now? How is their life going about? What are they doing now? The friends that gave me so many memories. Some of which played in band with me. Some of them were beside me to share my happiness and sorrows. Yeah nothing in this world will last forever. All of us will be separated as time goes by. But I am glad that all of you left a footstep in my life which make my life so different.

I just finished watching a movie. 10 Promises To My Dog. Touching story. Really. Watch until tears come out already. You know something? Sometime when we promise each other things, did we lift up to what we promised? Yes we can give 101 of excuses and reasons why we didn't keep to the promise. but to the person you make the promise to, the promise can be so important.

Watching this movie also make me missed my dad. 13 years since he left... How are you in the heaven? I never forget you and never will...

27-09-08

2008-09-28T00:17:00.005+08:00

Time now is 28-09-08 0018hrs.
So what happened today?

I was so tired that I couldn't really wake up at all. Really very tired. I sleep from my bedroom to the sofa of my living room. Just sleep and sleep until 1pm. Yeah I am really very tired. Stress and long hours of work and activities giving lesser time to rest. Maybe I am so used to free time at home and do my own stuffs. Now I can't really do that. Even on saturday and sunday. But I never regret living my life this way. Because I know I need to catch up the time and knowledge and the stuffs that I have lost in the past. I got push through everything.

At church service just now. I was not paying attention to pastor. The reason being something happened at stuffing at KK and they cannot process the portnet to bring the container into the port. I was quite panic because I couldn't answer the call and I have to sms alot of people on resolving this people. Just that the service ended, I quickly ran to a corner and check the whole issue out. I am glad when I call back everything had settled.

However when I am done and get back to the CG, I only found my belonging there... Where are the rest of the group??? Although at the end i still managed to find them, but that is after me looking high and low for them. I think they meant alot to me that I felt so lost when I couldn't see them. Haha.. Lucky Winnie answered the call and I ran and catch with them.

Thank you Winnie. Luckily you are there to help us book seats. Luckily you were there that I didn't have to do it alone and share your music with me. Wanna let you know that I appreciate that especially when I have gone through a week of stress and war fighting. It is so good to have you around me. Going to start school soon right? You must jia you wor... And I know you will be the best of the best.

After the Service, I rushed down to Jurong East and meet up with my coursemate and discussed the Air Freight Project. not knowing that they have chosen me to head the group. We immediately go into the topic and that with everyone expressing the ideas I am going to consolidate everything together tonight. Hopefully I can drop them the email tonight and they give me more suggestion for me to improve on it.

Headed back to meet Xue Ting, Li Xin, Winnie and Shannon. Long time never step into the arcade already. Yeah long time... And as usual they take photo again. Haha... Seem that it is our CG's tradition to take photo everywhere we go. That is a good thing because that is the evidences of the good and happy times when we are together. I wanna say that I cherish it. Though I don't know whether I will be with all of you forever, but thank you for lighten up my life.

26-09-08

2008-09-26T22:44:00.004+08:00

Time now is 2245hrs.
Today have been a busy day.
I took a cab this morning because i suddenly wanted to be in office slightly early this morning. But the outcome is if I have taken MRT I will be faster than the cab. Why? We were stuck in a traffic jam at AYE. I was asking the driver to exit Clementi Road to skip the remaining part of the jam. As a driver myself I know it definately can be done but he simply say he can't without trying. When we reached my office, I didn't have enough cash and used my atm card. Something wrong somewhere and he simply cannot make deduction and keep blaming me on my card spolit his machine. I am so unhappy with him already and he still say this. My card is totally new card. So I didn't want to argue with him and I went up to the atm machine and draw money payment. So the beginning of my day is already spolited by this driver. I left home at 0745hrs and reached office at 0905hrs. I might as well take MRT!!

Back in the office today. Rushing everything out before I go home at 1300hrs. I cleared all my bill for new shipment and Yang Ling and Yue sheng to key in my document and prepared Disposal Documents. I couldn't take any booking today. but luckily my customer are supportive and they make booking with me themselves. At 1300hrs, I took everything I need to take left office and I went over to Taman Jurong and delivered a document to one of the customer before I headed home.

Reached home and at 1745hrs, I left home and went over to church for combined CG. This is a Youth CG. Dun know leh.. Trying to blend through the whole event.Am I look very old?? hahaha... Maybe... BUt I don't really bothered about it. As long I enjoy it can already.

Think about my work. Thinking the crisis that my company currently going through. I want to help to bring more sales for my company and I have proceed with my plan today. I will be doing purely on Customer services and operation during office hours. All BL Draft, Permit and Letter of indemnity will be done at night or before office hours or at home. One more thing that I will need is a good Laptop. My desktop is getting old and have temper. Sometime nothing happen, sometime simply don't let me do anything.

Hopefully through this planning I will be able to bring in more booking for the company.

Tomorrow morning I will be going back to office to clear my filing and do new bookings. in afternoon I will be at church for service and in the evening I will have to meet up with my project group members... gonna be busy again....

25-09-08

2008-09-25T23:35:00.003+08:00

Time now is 2335hrs.
Today is really a busy day. The reason is because Yang Ling wasn't around and Yue Sheng is very busy at his own import stuffs. Sometime it really happen in this way. When you are not busy, nothing come to you. Once you get busy, everything start to come to you.

Today we managed to complete the whole Transaction for G2K. The person actually wanted me to send a copy of the Indemnity to him. But sorry lor... If I send to you doesn't that mean you can use my indemnity and do submission of LTA without making any payment? But one good thing is he came up to the office and make full payment and I manage to release the whole of document to him. He will have one more special project coming up but for that I leave it to my boss to handle him.

What about the Booking today? New booking added in was GM's Paramaribo and Vladivostok. I will be continuously check whether Jose have more booking for me. Meanwhile Pinnacle also booked Paramaribo and ND started with Novorossiysk. I need to check with KK whether the booking for Point Lisas and Port Moresby is confirmed and SC booking for Vladivostok. Tomorrow I must work even harder. If I want 20 containers per weeks for next month, I got to think and think on how to do it without disturb my work in documentation.

I was talking to MH when we were having lunch just now. I asked her in what way that we can do something to make the situation better. She kept saying there is not much we can do but just do our work well. but I feel that it is not good enough. The business wouldn't grow further. I feel that I need to assist the sales to bring in more business. Yes I may not earn the commission but it will benefit me one way or another too.

Tomorrow I have decided to claim my Off- IN- Lieu in the afternoon. Tomorrow will be the combined CG thingy at Church. I guess it will be fun..

Better sleep early, tomorrow is waiting for me to create history....

24-09-08

2008-09-24T22:19:00.004+08:00

Time now is 2210hrs
Thanks winnie for designing my blog.
I know I must be very demanding because I keep giving critics on the design and asked her to change and change. At the end of the day, This blog finally have a new face.

So what happened today. I look for booking and called everyone that I know again.
Nowadays business is definately not easy. Everyone in company is trying to do something. I was trying to find the rate for the shipment for various ports and that hopefully we can do more shipment. That is the least I can do beside my operation duties.

I should say.. I am tired... But not weekend yet so I must carry on fighting for more shipments. I still dun want to give up...

Next month target will be 80 containers which mean that I need to get 20 containers or equivalent per week. Don't know possible or not. But if you never try you never know.

2008-09-24T17:47:00.000+08:00

DONE! AT LAST DONE LIAOS!

HOW IS IT?

NOT BAD RIGHT?

hurhur~!

~~I REDO UNTIL I HATE EDITING TEMPLATE..~~

i can't view it with the lousy computer here.

tag ok!

HAHA!KEEP THIS BLOG ALIVE AND FRESH..

just like the fresh and renewed air everyday in southpole.(:

BE HAPPY,MR HALF PENGUIN&HALF POLAR BEAR!

*by [ [ CANDY BAY-B ] ]

25-09-08

2008-09-24T01:11:00.000+08:00

Time now is 0115hrs.
Rarely that I will sleep so late in the weekdays. Maybe I drink too much coffee in the afternoon. Or is it because I am too stressed up that I cannot sleep?

I heard a news that is quite shocking today. My company's HQ in Hong Kong have make some strategy changes in the routing of the vessels. And the thing is they have diverted all vessel to call at Port Kelang instead of Singapore. That mean there may be an retrenchment going to happened. Although my side is not really going to be affected by the retrenchment, but it is going to affect business.

I have not thought of retrenchment can be so real to me. Now that I see it happening, it is scary one lor. I think the coming week we will heard more news about this. i believe our director will be speaking to us soon.

So all my friends reading this blog...
If I go out of job, please help me look for another job lor...

23-09-08

2008-09-22T23:52:00.000+08:00

Time now is 2353hrs.
I am very tired today. And I really have the intention to skip work and skip lesson and skip everything for coming rest of the week. But can I or will I do so? No...
There is so many expectation that I need to lift on my back.
Really sianz... Fed up... Irritated... depressed...
But that mean I give up? No...
So what to do? Work Harder I guess...

21-09-08

2008-09-21T18:05:00.000+08:00

Time now is 1815hrs.
Just came from back a whole day studying and doing project.

I was at Jurong East Library this morning and met up with my coursemate for the group project discussion. Gone through the project for Airfreight but seem that no one is actually ready for the project. Maybe I am abit concerned on this and wish that the project can be done quickly. Hope that we can come up with something concrete on wednesday evening.

Later on, I met with Kenneth, Eve, Adeline and her friend to study together. Kenneth is giving her some tution while I take care of the airfreight module or which the tutorial was never touched on. But don't know why, after 2 hours, I can get the whole thing into my mind already. Maybe because I slept too late and wake up very early this morning.

For the past one week. I felt frustrated. But why? I don't know also. And the more frustrated I am I tried to stop myself to say something hurtful to people. I noticed that this was what I did for the past few days to my colleagues, my friends and even my church friends. But the frustration have no where to go for now. Maybe my attitude problem is coming back again.

I feel depressed too... Haha... I really feel that sometime I don't belong to anywhere and I am just drifting here and there...

20-09-08

2008-09-19T23:38:00.002+08:00

Time now is 2115hrs.
I just came back from a full day of church activities.
At Service today, Pastor Kong spoken to us about the 5 qualities that Son of God should have.

1. A son carries the genetic code of the house.
2. A son serves the vision of the house.
3. A son share the pride in their house.
4. A son accept discipline in the house.
5. A son give birth to children.

All Pastor Kong spoken set me thinking about my christian life with our lord. Did I carries the genetic of the house? Do I serve the vision of the house? Do I share the pride of the house? Did follow the rules of our lord? And will I be able to help to expand the church by bringing more new friends to the church? so at the end of the service today, I am really full of thought in mind.

After the whole service, Mingyao sms me whether I should join the security ministry first. I did not hesitated and say yes. I always think in this way. Even though I wish to contribute on things that I know and but if there is a ministry that need help and I am available, I will be there to help. And also... I shouldn't choose what to serve. Haha.. That is my principle in this issue. So I will wait for Mingyao reply and follow instructions and go for it.

There is currently 4 issue that is running through my life.
Firstly is my career with Zim Logistics S.E.A Pte Ltd.
Secondly is my dream as a musician.
Thirdly my diploma course.
Fourthly and most importantly, walking and following my lord.

There is alot of contradicating things going on. And I have to balance everything. Career is important because I want to be successful in what I do and in way, repay the company with more business for the company. As musician, it have my passion all along and music really accompanied me when I am all alone. In music i express things that I couldn't express in real life. The second chance in studying again and I don't wat to regret.. I want to be the top scholar and that I will be able to go And being a christian, I want to live house of god. Doing all these at the same time is really not easy. Things tend to crash together sometime. I pray really hard that I can make decision at doing the correct things at the correct time.

Kambate Kambate Kambate

COLOR OF THE WIND

2008-09-19T23:38:00.001+08:00

COLOR OF THE WIND SANG BY VANESSA WILLIAM

You think you own whatever land you land on
The earth is just a dead thing you can claim
But I know evry rock and tree and creature
Has a life, has a spirit, has a name

You think the only people who are people
Are the people who look and think like you
But if you walk the footsteps of a stranger
You'll learn things you never knew you never knew

Have you ever heard the wolf cry to the blue corn moon
Or asked the grinning bobcat why he grinned ?
Can you sing with all the voices of the mountain ?
Can you paint with all the colors of the wind ?
Can you paint with all the colors of the wind ?

Come run the hidden pine trails of the forest
Come taste the sun-sweet berries of the earth
Come roll in all the riches all around you
And for once, never wonder what theyre worth

The rainstorm and the river are my brothers
The heron and the otter are my friends
And we are all connected to each other
In a circle, in a hoop that never ends

Have you ever heard the wolf cry to the blue corn moon
Or let the eagle tell you there hes been
Can you sing with all the voices of the mountain ?
Can you paint with all the colors of the wind ?
Can you paint with all the colors of the wind ?

How high does the sycamore grow ?
If you cut it down, then you'll never know

And you'll never hear the wolf cry to the blue corn moon
For whether we are white or copper-skinned
We just sing with all the voices of the mountain
Need to paint with all the colors of the wind
You can own the earth and still
All youll own is earth until
You can paint with all colors of the wind

18-09-08

2008-09-19T23:38:00.000+08:00

Time now is 2330hrs.
Finally it is friday. I have been checking up on my work loading. For the half month I have yet to on my booking load list. So I started to tally up whatever bookng that I have in hand for the month of Sept.

Before going further, I need to explain two freight terms. Well let me practice what I have learnt in class. In the Incoterm, there is these term that we are most popular use in my type of shipments. The first one will be Cover Insurance Freight (CIF) which is mean shipper will be responsible for Freight charges and may have to purchase insurance for the shipment under the agreement of the contract. I guess forwarders will love this type of booking as there is more revenues involved. The second one is Free On Board (FOB). As the term suggested, the cargo can shipped on board the vessel without the shipper paying for the ocean freight. The nominated Carrier will in turn collect the Ocean Freight from the consignee or buyer at the destination. Then for us at the local, there is really nothing for us to earn except for some stuffing charges.

Back to where left out, I input all the bookings and did some calculation. I have about 55% of FOB shipment on hands. Which mean that booking didn't really fetch alot of revenue. I guess I have to try to fetch more CIF booking from customer as well. Meantime for FOB booking, I cannot let go as well. Because it at least give us the edge that we can keep the volume of cargo moving. I guess I have to work double harder on monday.

i wondered why consignee are so into the FOB term. The most likely reason that I can think of currently is that consignee may not trust shipper in the way that shipper might have take chance to mark up the Ocean freight to their buyer and in term gain more profits. These shipper really got people into trouble lor.

Tomorrow will be CG and service day for me. I have reserved my whole day the event tomorrow. Better go and sleep liao...

17-09-08

2008-09-18T23:22:00.000+08:00

Time now is 2315hrs.
I just came back from work and study.

Let me think what should I update.

CNL Concert finally have the concert on 13-09-08. I was so happy and glad that some of the Cell Group friends were able to attend the concert and give me some much needed support. Yeah... I was actually quite nervous and wondered whether I can last through the whole concert. Furthermore I am very tired from hectic schedule of the whole day and I couldn't concentrate during the rehearsal and thus my confidence level is low. So it started with March Blue sky and goes on. When Wind Ensemble played Armenian Dance by Dr Alfred Reed, I just want to do it the best than previously done. Yeah my wish came true because I think I do very well for this piece.

What will be going on for CNL Wind Ensemble after this concert? I am waiting for the end of the break and go back to prepare the performances. Yeah I look forward to that. I know I am a Music Maker and I will want the music we played to go beyond sound and into meaningful and colourful scenery in everyone hearts.

While everything goes well for Concert, things are not going too smoothly at work. This week have been a very irritating week. I am trying to do what I can. But things just didn't workout. Frankly speaking, I am very disheartened and wanted to go on leave for awhile. I suddenly thought it will be so good if I can go Genting again. I just want to be alone and think for awhile.

For study, I will be meeting up with my group members to complete the two project at hand. I have to think about the ideas before the meeting. Hopeful we can come up the idea and complete the project as soon as possible. Meanwhile I better do my study on sunday after the group meeting.

Going to sleep already. Last working day of the week, do my best bah...

13-09-08

2008-09-13T14:08:00.000+08:00

Time now is 1412hrs.

I was more forced to come back to office to settle some work issue.
sometime I really think my boss really something wrong lor. I passed the Original Letter to him and he don't want to keep and make me come back to office to courier out to Trinidad?? Hey today is saturday and that I got perform on concert later. Sianz lor... And this cause me to miss out the Make up Cell group meeting.

Haven't buy my shirt yet. And i am stuck at office now. Hopefully that DHL can come over quickly or I will be late for the concert rehearsal. Aiyo can things don't work in this way? i am already under so pressure already still like that.

Meanwhile, how do I feel now for concert? Panic? no? Maybe I am not taking it that seriously. Haha... Hope that everything will be fine later. And of cos... Thanks S33... I recieved all your sms this morning and I will do my best.

I will keep the blog updated on the concert later when I come home.

Quizz

2008-09-12T23:41:00.000+08:00

Saw this at a friend's blog... And nothing to do now.. Lol...
10 to 1
TENS Whats:
1. What was the first thing you thought about when you woke up?
What time is it?

2. What did you do last night?
Channel New Asia

3. What is the most important of your life?
Music, Friends, Foods...

4. What would you rather be doing right now?
Well nothing to do now.. So blogging

5. What did you last cry over?
When I am lost in my life?? Think so...

6. What always makes you feel better when you’re upset?
Go Seaside and be alone on my own...

8. What’s the most important thing you look for in a significant other?
True love and affections

9. What are you worried about?
Career, study and Band

10. What are you looking forward to most in this week?
Concert on Saturday and Sunday Service

NINE HAVE YOU’S:
1. Have you ever liked someone while you had a girlfriend/boyfriend?
Yes... Think so

2. Have you ever had your heart broken?
Yes someone have broke my heart before. Luckily not smashed

3. Have you ever lost and all alone?
Yes. in LA Disneyland when I was Sec 3.

4. Have you ever been out of the country?
Yes. Been to LA, Seoul , Bangkok, Batam, KL, Brisbane, Sydney Taipei...

5. Have you ever done something outrageously dumb?
Yeah when I tell someone that there is a swimming pool in Zim Vessel and no one believe.

6. Have you ever been back stabbed by a friend?
Yes... But nevermind lah... I still take him as friend

7. Have you ever had the cops called on you?
When I was in a pub and they came and check for underaged.

8. Have you ever dated someone younger than you?
Yeah.

9. Have you ever read an entire book in one day?
Yeah... Chicken Soup for the Soul Book 3 when I was on duty for AHM 04 while in NS.

EIGHT WHO’S:
1. Who was the last person you saw?
My uncle

2. Who was the last person you kissed?
...

3. Who was the last person you texted?
Li xin.. Regarding changing of time slot for Make up Cell group

4. Who was the last person to call you?
MINDEF notification system...

5. Who was your first crush?
Yes.. but she is one of my best friend now.

6. Who is the last person who texted to?
Li xin... To tell me the confirmed location and time for Make up Cell Gourp.

7.Who is the last person you freaked out on?
So far dun have...

8. Who did you last hug?
My guitar

SEVEN WHEN’S:
1.When was your last shower?
2 hours ago

2. When did you last see your mom?
2 day ago

3. When was your last time u saw your dad?
13 years ago... He passed away when I was 13......

4. When did you last dress up?
Hmm.. morning??

5. When was the last time you cried?
one month ago

6. When did you last go to the movies and with who?
Can't remember...

7. When did you last listen to music?
On the bus just now.

SIX WHERE’S:
1. Where does your best friend live?
Which one are you refering to? Jurong West one or bukit Batok one?

2. Where did you last go?
No. 60 Alexandra Terrace, The Comtech Lobby B, #06-07

3. Where did you last hang out?
Long John Silver at Jurong Point.

4. Where do you go to school?
At Bukit Merah Central (Old HDB HQ).

5. Where is your favorite place to be?
Boat Quay coffeebean

6. Where did you sleep last night?
My room

FIVE DO’S/DOES:
1. Do you like someone right now?
Yes but not going to do anything about it.

2. Do they like you too?
Dun know.. Maybe yes, maybe no

3. Do you ever wish you were someone else?
Yeah sometime.

4. Do you know the muffin man?
Muffin man? dun understand...

5. Does the future scare you?
Future dun scare me... Uncertainty does.

FOUR WHY’S:
1. Why are you best friends with your best friend?
Because we were there for each other.

2. Why did you get a myspace?
It come together with MSN

3. Why did your parents give you the name you have?
To be under the witness of Sun and Moon, and shine brightly.

4. Why are you doing this survey?
Cos look interesting

THREE IF’S:
1. If you could have one superpower, what would it be?
Go back in time and change something

2. If you could go back in time and change one thing, would you?
Yes.. Things that I have regretted.

3. If you were stranded on a deserted island and could bring one thing what would it be?
My Mp3.

TWO WOULD-YOU-EVER’S:
1. Would you ever get back together with any of your ex’s if they asked you?
I dun know.

2. Would you ever shave your head to save someone you love?
nope.

ONE LAST QUESTION:
1. Are you happy with your life right now?
Yeah... fight on to be the best finisher in the marketplace...

12-09-08 (Part 2)

2008-09-12T23:15:00.000+08:00

Time now is 2316hrs
In another 21 hours times I will be performing at ACS Barker with Centre Of New Life Church Wind Ensemble. This will be the first time after 3 years since I last performed on tuba to the public. And yes time had gone by so fast and my ideas and thinkings of music have changed. No longer am I the person who put in and serious about music. I am now just enjoying the every single minute and second of the music I played and listen to the story of each of them.

We will be playing Armenian Dances (Part 1) by Dr Alfred Reed and Vaughan's English Folk Song Suite. Although I am no stranger to these two music as I have even performed with CNL a few years back, the music this time bring me a new ideas. My intepretation of the music is different this time.

I suddenly hope that all my friends could be able to attend this concert and that able to share my happiness with me again. But I guess none of them will be able to be free for the concert this time round. Nevermind. i will just play the music as per what it should been done. And yeah I hope that the music the band play will be able to move the audiences.

Music is meant to touch the heart of one who hear it. Every music tell a story and every instrument is the bits and pieces of the whole picture.

Tomorrow I will be going for the makeup cell group as I wasn't able to attend due to study committment. And before that I need to get a dark blue shirt and after Cell Group I need to rush home and change and go to the concert venue and get ready for rehearsal. At 7.40pm the concert should officially start and end before 10pm. I don't think I will be following the guys back to Henderson to unload the instruments but instead I will just go home or go somewhere and have a drink.

On sunday morning I will have Service and after that, I better study and prepare for my project.
Not enough time to do my things already... Can I be greedy and have 48 hours on my own??
Lol.. I know I can't so the only things I can do is cherish and cherish the time I have.

12-09-08

2008-09-11T23:59:00.000+08:00

Today is 12-09-08 and time now is 0000 hrs

Been about two weeks that I didn't blogged. Therefore thought that since I am online I should update alittle of what is going on in my life.

On 31-08-08, Chak Kwang, Chay Hai and his Gf Jennifer as well as myself went for the SMRT challenge. Yeah it have been one long year since we participated in the Little Red Dots. This time round instead of staying indoor, we have to run outside and look for clue and resolve problem. not a easy game to play but I enjoyed the game.

After the SMRT Challenge, I went over to Sentosa and meet up with S33. They were there in the morning. Played some volleyball game with them and before that rented a bicycle even though I dun really know how to cycle, but I thought it will be fun so I just rent it for an hour and cycle around.

While I was in Sentosa, Colin called me and asked me to come back to CNL to perform for concert. I was so overjoyed because this was what I hope for and that it gave me the chance to go back to band and play again. However, I didn't played for 3 years and I only have 3 rehearsal to concert. On 3 Sep 08, my first practice with the band, I prayed very hard that I will be able to play the music and with god's grace, the miracle really happened. I can still play on the tuba. The second rehearsal saw me sightreading all the scores and the last rehearsal last night I just enjoy myself and told myself that just do whatever I can and everything gonna be alright. I know god will plan and I will execute exactly what he want.

Beside Band issue that is happening over last two weeks, Work and study had also become more and more demanding. There is alot of stress going on in all these area. But this idea have always appeared in my mind - Nothing is Impossible. So I am just going to think and push these all through. And at the end of the year I will reward myself with a trip to Taiwan (hope so).

Going to sleep now. Got to fight for my life again tomorrow.

24-08-08

2008-08-28T00:14:00.000+08:00

24-08-08 (Sunday) --> Rainy Day.
So what happened this week? My Diploma course finally started off with the Airfreight module and that I have a hard time to following up. Furthermore I felt pressurized that everyone in the class are much more qualified than me. I am one of the two O level holder in the class and I do not have much experience in the forwarding line compared to the rest of my classmate. but I will keep trying and get the best result which I am capable of. The Sea Freight module started off on Thursday and that with monday experience in class, I was better focused on the lesson. I hope that I will continued to do so in the second lesson of Airfreight tomorrow. Oh I think I better read through the notes before I go for my lesson.
What about at work? Very low morale... I feel that I am charging to the no ending point. I very tired and sad and that I really don't know how to resolve this problem. I know I may ended up leaving the company but I really don't want to do so. I don't want to job hop and that I know I still have alot of potential in this line. I just have to be careful in my work. Come on, I must be a good finisher at the end of the year right? I cannot give up lor.
Believe it or not.. Someone asked me when I want to get married. Haha... I really don't know. I don't even have a girlfriend now and not mention when I want to get marrried. But then, I do want to be attached. Who don't? Haha... Maybe the right one have not appeared yet. Haha... And nope I am rushing into this because I want to make sure I do well in my study first.
MIssed the outing to expo with the Cell Group today. Hope that they have fun and that they enjoyed themselves. I am going to have lesser time in my life but I really hope that I will be able just squeeze abit of the time and do the work of Him.

20-08-08 PART 2

2008-08-28T00:13:00.000+08:00

Now is 12.45am on 21-08-08. I just came home from work. Very very tired... I am pushing myself to limit again and I don't know how it will last... But can't be helped. I need to take up new responsibilities and at the same time not letting my customer down on what their requirement. Yes very tired but what to do... I want my first bonus with the company and so I have to work hard. Going to revise what my Lecturer taught on Air Freight later... Hopefully I wouldn't fall asleep halfway...
Oh Lord I hope that my pals understand that I am going through alot of things right now... Hope that they understand that I couldn't spend much time with them but every bits of my heart want to.

20-08-08

2008-08-28T00:12:00.002+08:00

20-08-08 ---> Cloudy and Hazy Morning. Very tried... Can don't go to work today?? Answer is cannot... Sigh.... Better get going...

17-08-08

2008-08-28T00:12:00.001+08:00

17-08-08 --> Rainy Day...
Today feel much better... Haha.. don't know why.. Maybe I sleep enough already... (lolx).
How long ago since I last worked full day on Sunday? Hmm.. Let me think... Since I left AGS? I think so. I suddenly found the motivation to work again. Does that mean the workacholic Beng Hwa is back? Don't know yet...Thank god that Nicholas came back to office and ended up helping fixing the power. If not I can't work today and can't complete so many things.
Did stuffing instruction to EPZ, did BL Draft and did some permits... And the next thing I know I worked for full 8 hours already. Saw some import Arrival Notice and I know tomorrow will be busy again. Sigh... Haha. I planning to reach office at 7am tomorrow and go through all my work again.
Thinking to go for Prayer Meeting on Wednesday... Hope that I can really do it...
I know it must You who have gave me the motivation and asked me not to give up. I know Nothing is Impossible for You and that You will bring me through these upcoming 1 year. Oh Lord, guide me through and show me how to overcome all the obstacles ahead and that at the end of day I can be the best Finisher that you want me to be... Thank you my Lord...

16-08-08

2008-08-28T00:11:00.001+08:00

16-08-08 --> Sunny but rained at the same time.
I wake up early in the morning. but I am still very tired, still feeling very stressed up. I suddenly feel that no one really understand me in my life nor in my work and feel very emo. Very funny right? I also don't know why I have this thought... If Ms Lamo hears this she is going to say I am lame again (ya lah ya lah..).
I also ask myself this... Why must I treat people with so much respect when they treated me like shit? Why can't I have attitude problem with them? Really... I have enough with some people in my life le. Please please please... do not take for granted of my kindness... And dun make me turn evil again... No one around me will like it...
So the whole day I am very moody... I don't feel like talking to anyone. I don't feel like going out and fellowship with people. I just want to be alone. And I hope that I can be left alone. There is so many problem that I am encountering right now and i have no idea on how to resolve it. I am mentally and physically tired. Maybe I am stubborn... no matter how tired and frustrated I am I don't want to give up. At work or at a relationship with friends...
Ms Lamo today also treated me transparent.... I don't know why... But she gave me that do not disturb me look... Maybe finally she cannot take me irritating and lame sms liao. (lolx). Fine then I refrain from sms-ing her bah. Anyway I don't have the time for doing this anymore. My Course is starting on Monday and Thursday night and the first two module I am doing is Air and Sea Freight. Haha... Friday got Cg... Saturday got Service... Wednesday night is for Prayer conference and I will always come home early cos i always look forward to pray with connect group. So I only have Tuesday night and Sunday whole day I am going to dedicate these two timing for my work and study. So no more free slot for me le. How huh?
Work not stable, study coming, and I want to give more quality time with god... I am so pessimistic now. I really scared I can't pull through.

15-08-08

2008-08-28T00:10:00.000+08:00

Today is Friday 15-08-08.
Past one and half week have been very dramatic and sad for me.
After the break and come back to work, I know that it is going to be busy and that I want to change thing that are happening. I really tried my best and learn to cope with changes that is happening at work. Learning to do Import shipment now. Thanks to Andrew that I can have a clear understanding onthe job that I was told to handle and that so far I don't have much doubt.
However, I find it hard to balance Import and Used Car shipment together. During office I am either doing import shipment or making booking for customer, or resolving customer issue or making Telex Release for customer. I totally can't check or do my documentation. Thus I am so stressed. I kept waking up at night again and my head really cramped up. But I don't want to give up. Because I want breakthrough in my work. So no matter what I want to find a solution to resolve it asap.
Second thing that make me sad is... seeing my friend hurt emotionally. her family member passed away and the only thing I could do was to get things that she might need. Perhap my weakness is I don't know how to comfort people when they need it. I can only stand one side and see whether she is fine or not. I am worry about her because she is a friend that I cherished. I didn't see her for some day and I hope that she is alright. I will be praying for her to recover and come back to cg soon.
I always wondered... What is the purpose of my life? When will my life end? And that at the end of the day when I draw my last breath what do I want to achieve? Haha... If the day really come, I want to end alone and give me a chance to recall all my happiest moment in my life. But I guess it is still a long way to go. so I better go and find my life first. lol...
Tomorrow going to have Zone prayer meeting. Better go and sleep first...
Oh Lord, I always wondered is it fate that I have to go things this way... do I have to face thing this way? It is like a curse in my life... Did you purpose put into my life? But why? Will I be the outcasted again at the end of the day? Oh Lord, can my fate be changed?

03-08-08

2008-08-28T00:09:00.002+08:00

Today is the day before I go back to work. These few days have been wonderful to me. Thanks to alot of friends who really keep me accompanied.
Tomorrow will be a new day for me. I want to do things that is different from what I do last time. I want to concentrate at work and study coming up. I know that it will be stressful but I know I can and I want to do it. I want to be a Good Finisher... At the end of the year, I hope that I wouldn't have any regret from this duration of time.
Ok lah.. Going to rest soon... I want to make sure I will be at my best tomorrow.
Oh Lord, Please guide and bless us in our life...

02-08-08

2008-08-28T00:09:00.001+08:00

Time now is 03-08-08 at 1.15am...
Today is the second day of the FOP. I didn't do much stuff in morning. Just wake up and play my game. Managed to control the game.
In the afternoon, I went over to Kallang MRT station and meet up with some of the SP and the rest. We originally have to walk over to Indoor Stadium but thank god, there is bus there. I really do not wish my clothes to be wet even before the event start.
Reached that area, but we walked over to Leisure Park first as we were supposed to fellowship first. Saw Xue Ting and Li Xin there but instead of go to Food Court, they went to see rabbits. (Oh Gosh I nearly want to take the rabbit out and BBQ it.. lolx.. Just kidding..) After finished lunch i am more like fellowship with my hp. Don't feel like talking lah. Maybe because I didn't sleep enough so I don't feel like chatting.
When Ming Yao and Marlin reached, we went down to celebrate Austin's Birthday. Yeah Tomorrow is his birthday. Hope that he will enjoy good health and enjoy his life. Teenager's time is the most fun time lor.(When I was 15 or 16, what was I doing? Band Band Band... but I enjoy it lolx..)
FOP finally started at 7.30pm. After all the prayer and praises, Pastor Mark Connor shared with us about Growing up and Growing Old. He mentioned something like that-- Quality of age is year in life and Quality of Behaviour is stage of Life. Yeah... it prompt me to think again. I am 26 years old already but where is my stage of life? He also mentioned that though we can't control what is going on in the world or other people life, we can control ourselves in our life. I will remember that in mind...
Tomorrow will be the day that I am going to mentally prepare myself for Monday work. Yeah i going to run the marathon to the end of the year. I want to be a good finisher...
Oh Lord Bless that everyone to grow in spiritually with you. I also hope that all my friends will have a good sunday tomorrow...Thank you my Lord...

01-08-08

2008-08-28T00:08:00.000+08:00

Haha... Now is 02-08-08 at 2.15am.
So what happened for the last two days? Actually nothing much. I was supposed to go East Coast Park on Thursday but I didn't go. I was supposed to go Zoo on Friday and I didn't go either. Why? Simply because I don't have the mood to go.
So what did I do on Thursday? Nothing... Just stayed inside my bedroom and sleep till noon time and went to Jurong Point in the afternoon. Brought some salmon sashimi and Unagi rice home to munch in front of the computer. Played my computer games and updated my blog.
On Friday, I don't know why suddenly I went to have a hair cut although I only wanted to do on Saturday morning. Then in the afternoon had a short notice to go FOP instead of Cell Group Meeting. Haha.. Took a cab down to Indoor Stadium and met up the SP and rest. After that went over to Kenneth for BS.
Today FOP session is interesting. Paster Mike Connor talking about 4 points on Good Church Enviroment. But as he goes in depth. I seriously feel that it actually applied not only in church but on every single one of us.

30--07-08

2008-08-28T00:07:00.000+08:00

Haha.. not supposed to be blogging today. At least not in my plan. But since I am here, why not?
The first two days of my leave have gone through quite fruitfully. Finally I am not thinking about work and that I go out and have fun. Yesterday I went walking everywhere. I went to office and handed over my work, went to chinatown, went to Bugis, went to Marina Square and Suntec city, went to Plaza Singapura and other places.
When I went to Plaza Singapura, the reason was that I want to find a suitable band instrument that I want to pick up. i know that it should be either a Tuba or Euphonium. Looking at the price, not impossible one but will need sometime to save up. If I have the chance to play music again, I promise I don't want to give up again. Because I know that I love playing music and be a performer and an artist. I am going to build up my fundmental and take practical exam. Maybe end up not a full time musician, but at least I am doing something I loved the most.
What about today? It is even more happening... We are supposed to meet at Harbourfront at 10.30am to go for the Bridge Walk. We only went up to Mount Faber at about Noon time. Woah... This is the first time I walked up to Mount Faber because I usually take a cab up. so we started walking and reached the Henderson Wave Bridge. The view there was really spectacular. We rest for awhile and took alot of photo. After that we proceed to the Bridge nearer to Alexandra. Very nice view as well. On the whole I really like the trip today.
Tomorrow will be another busy day. I am thinking to go the east side of Singapore. Maybe to East Coast Park. Go and try cycling even though I don't really know how to cycle and find somewhere quiet and I want to think over some issues that is happening in my life.
I know God always hear our prayer and have been doing wonders in our life. No words can ever reflect how grateful I am to you...

27-07-08

2008-08-28T00:06:00.002+08:00

This week have past quite quickly. Yet so many things have happened.
At work, things are piling up. There are alot of bookings on the next coming week. I think I considered it as good news because the effort that I have put in did not go to waste. I am about that. Even though that it may not be best, but I have tried my best I have no regret over it. However, I will not be the one handling it. On tuesday, I formally handed up my leave application and got approval from Richard that I will be away for the next 4 days from 29-07-08 to 01-08-08 and will be back on 04-08-08. All my jobs, I will hand over to the rest of colleagues to follow up.
Things have gone really fast. It is going to be one year already. I have definately changed in work and that I will want to improve further. Upcoming 18-08-08, I will be attending Diploma course on International Freight Management. I will want to do well and get the scholarship to go higher study. I hope that things can really go well for me for years to come and that I will not let Zim Logistics down.
As for church activity, our connect group had a conference meeting with Mingyao on the topic of Wow factor. We are supposed to dress up to this topic. I always in term of dressing up, I really don't have that kind of factor. But i thought maybe I have just dressed up to the best of me. So I went to buy some clothes after the CG Bbq Session. I thought I just wear whatever I can find and improvised on it. By the time I go home it was already 4am and I have wear the clothes and go to work and to church. But ok lah, look good to myself.
Sunday is basically my sleeping day because I didn't sleep for firday night and after come back from Church service and have to accompany my friend to watch movie and the whole ended at around 3am. So tired. When I wake up I can't even remembered how I reached home.
Hopefully I can have a good break from work and when I restart again in August, I can be even better at work. Hope that god bless everyone in the cell group and that everyone will be happy.

20-07-08

2008-08-28T00:06:00.001+08:00

Just came back from church service. Glad to have meet a new friend. His name is Alex. Hope that everything will be fine for him and Our Lord can bless him in his life.
Shannon also had her water baptism done today. So today will also be her birthday as well? Haha.. Should be bah. A person who go through Water Baptism mean he/she is spiritually reborned too. Hope that she will be able to fulfil what she have always been praying.
At work, these two weeks at work have been a busy one. We are trying to secure as much of booking as possible. But I think everyone need more motivation. I always believe that the 2nd half of the year we will definately do even better than the 1st half. Business may be bad everywhere but I know God will give us the miracle and make everything possible. Thus i am planning to restart on what I think was useless initially and that is send weekly email to shipper that I know and maybe reachout to those who have not much booking or even never booked with us. And I want to improve the way I do my documentation and customer service so that customer can have confident in us. I know although rate is important, the rest of service remain important. I will work hard!
My diploma course have confirmed to start on 18/08/2008 and last for about a year. I finally going to be given the chance to do something from my past regret and go and complete my study. Frankly speaking... I really envy my friends who have the opportunty to study for diploma and degree. That is one of thing that I wished to do this year and I will want to do my best. By the way this is a sponorship from my company and thus I want to be the best in everything I do. I don't want to disappoint them.
Last sunday I managed to meet up with Chak Kwang and Jowell and Jie Ying. It have been such a long time since I last seen Jie Ying. She is still herself in her way of doing things. Haha. I glad to meet her and hope everything will be fine for her at work and her life.
I am going to take leave on 30/07/2008 to 01/08/2008 and only go back to work on 04/08/2008. I will be going to the bridge at south hills with the church friends and after that I go into malaysia. For thursday whole and Friday morning return back to Singapore and just nice to come back to cell group session.

29-06-08

2008-08-28T00:05:00.001+08:00

Half of year 2008 have been gone.
Frankly speaking, I think I didn't really accompolish much so far. My company is going through alot of things. But my manager have left Thailand to set up new company there. Alot of things my new manager is still don't know. The ops side have to work double hard and I really hope that I can contribute to the company. Oh my lord, please give me the strength and power to overcome the problem over at the company and also make the core business in this company to carry on. I know I am not the most important person. I just want to contribute what I can for the company.
Relationships are not easy to handle. Friendship are fragile. We can be 15 years of long friends but it is not even worth a feather. Perhap I should reflect on myself. I am too stubborn on the principle of my life and I don't know how to maintain a friendship. I am not that kind of high socialising skill. The only thing I will do is to be make sure everyone is happy. At the other hand, i am happy that I make some very good friends (Soon Peng, Wilson, Austin, Kevin, Kenneth, Bryan, Clement, Adam, Mingyao, Li Xin, Sandy and Xue Ting) and of cause my old friends (Winnie and Pei shan). I know I am not so friendly. But I definately mean no harm. I am just a person who need my personal boundary. Weird person I am. Sincerely thanks to Xue Ting who is understanding and often listen to my grumbling. And also to Sandy being so understanding and guide me along.
Love relationship wise is still zero. Through I hope that I may be able to find the right person in my life, but I leave to god too. Because it is really not up to me to decide. I love her but she don't love me, then what is the point?
Hope that 2nd half of the year will be a better year for me and hope that all my wish can come true. God Bless to everyone.
one more item for 2008
--> To be able to serve in a Ministry and do what I can and contribute to the Lord.

Next travelling location

2008-08-28T00:04:00.002+08:00

I know I am supposed to go Melbourne in July.. but too many things going on and I think I may not be able to go for long holidays.
So Sianz... Let see how bah.. If I can't go australia then I will go to somewhere nearer and wouldn't need long holiday bah.