Thursday, August 28, 2008,
12:11 AM
16-08-08 --> Sunny but rained at the same time.
I wake up early in the morning. but I am still very tired, still feeling very stressed up. I suddenly feel that no one really understand me in my life nor in my work and feel very emo. Very funny right? I also don't know why I have this thought... If Ms Lamo hears this she is going to say I am lame again (ya lah ya lah..).
I also ask myself this... Why must I treat people with so much respect when they treated me like shit? Why can't I have attitude problem with them? Really... I have enough with some people in my life le. Please please please... do not take for granted of my kindness... And dun make me turn evil again... No one around me will like it...
So the whole day I am very moody... I don't feel like talking to anyone. I don't feel like going out and fellowship with people. I just want to be alone. And I hope that I can be left alone. There is so many problem that I am encountering right now and i have no idea on how to resolve it. I am mentally and physically tired. Maybe I am stubborn... no matter how tired and frustrated I am I don't want to give up. At work or at a relationship with friends...
Ms Lamo today also treated me transparent.... I don't know why... But she gave me that do not disturb me look... Maybe finally she cannot take me irritating and lame sms liao. (lolx). Fine then I refrain from sms-ing her bah. Anyway I don't have the time for doing this anymore. My Course is starting on Monday and Thursday night and the first two module I am doing is Air and Sea Freight. Haha... Friday got Cg... Saturday got Service... Wednesday night is for Prayer conference and I will always come home early cos i always look forward to pray with connect group. So I only have Tuesday night and Sunday whole day I am going to dedicate these two timing for my work and study. So no more free slot for me le. How huh?
Work not stable, study coming, and I want to give more quality time with god... I am so pessimistic now. I really scared I can't pull through.